Saint Patrick's Day Ramble 2017

NERDS' Ramble No. 328 .

Ramble 328 – St Patrick's Day 17th March 2017.

Those Present - Lafayette, Sandyballs, Froggy, Curly, Dio.


There were not a large number of Irish NERDS turning out for the St. Patrick's day ramble this year. Matt was on a cruise; Paco had decided his Irish ancestors would not approve of his attending so he stayed in bed. Dio consulted his Native American genes and came out in sympathy, and Curly and Sandyballs found they were the only ones with true green blood.

Oh, and Lafayette's lot all came from the rural parts of Staffordshire and didn't even know where Ireland was.

As custom demanded, everyone met up chez Laf. where we drank Jamesons (thanks for the contribution, Curly) and where Dio showed us phone pictures of a piper in NYC with flames coming out of his arse (don't ask). Then we all got on the bus to Rottingdean. The new buses have these tables up top where you can get wi fi – which is great if you know how to use it (like SB and Froggy) but a real bummer if you don't (like Laf. who has to sit and read a book or look out of the window on every bus journey.) - Sad, sad, sad.

At Rottingdean we approached the Black Horse hoping to see the sexy barmaid from a few years back but she'd run away so we got some male moron who was functional but dull.

Froggy found there was a large mirror just where we were sitting so took a lot of selfies of himself taking selfies of himself taking selfies ad infinitum.

We relocated to The Plough further up the High Street

where the beer was over £4 a pint but where the waitress was one of those slim blonde ones that Sandyballs so admires. She was more functional and interesting than the moron in the last pub so we had a good lunch of fish and chips and some of us even harboured lustful thoughts.

Next was a tiny bit of rambling up

to the windmill on Rottingdean hill

and then over the Downs to St Dunstan's. (Wonder if there's a St Dunstan's day we can all celebrate?)

May 19th

Then down to the main road where we caught a bus

( great ramble this) and ended up, by Curly's request, at The Molly Malone

pub in Brighton. Inside here it was just a sea of green. Everyone wore those daft leprachaun hats, everyone was drinking Guinness, there was Cheltenham races on the telly at full blast and the noise level was apocolyptic.

Soon even the NERDS got frightened that they would lose what little hearing they had left and moved round the corner to the more familiar territory of The Fiddlers Elbow where, guess what, everyone was wearing daft leprachaun hats, drinking Guinness and yelling and screaming at each other. Fortunately most of this mayhem was taking place out in the street so the noise was dissipated a little better.

The barmaids in the F.E. Were all unmoronic and pretty with shamrocks tattooed on their faces.

You could just about make them understand what you wanted to drink if you bellowed at them and as long as it was Guinness that you wanted. There was even a make-up corner away from the bar where trainee barmaids

were practising tattooing shamrocks and leprachauns

on to each others' faces. The mind boggles as to what quaint customs the barmaids might inflict on each other on St Dunstan's Day.

That's about all that happened really on this “ramble.” Lafayette has a vague memory of drinking something in Wetherspoons across the road (back to male, boring and moronic baristas) and then getting the bus back home to Newhaven.

Then he spent the next month with writer's block

because this ramble was essentially exactly the same as the one last year – but with fewer people. Still we all had some fun and Brian will be able to illustrate his blog with a few more green fairies

etc.

Poor Lafayette, he really needs to get out more rather than staying hunched over a typewriter

seeking inspiration from his beer stained notes. Never mind, all geniuses have their off weeks. Next ramble is Froggy's birthday so watch out!

Lafayette.