NERDS' Rambles Nos. 334 and 335.
Ramble 334 – Froggy's ramble to Ringmer. 13th Sept. 2017.
Those present – Sandyballs, Lafayette, Matt, Paco, Curly, Froggy, The Bish, Mrs Sandyballs, Bronco.
Froggy was going to take us to Pete's place at Arlington and to the Plough er... somewhere else but the opening times of the two pubs failed to coincide so plan B was invoked to take us all to Ringmer.
NERDS went to Lewes by train, to Waitrose on foot (!!!) and then by bus to The Anchor where Bronco lives most of the time. It was a bright sunny day,
just right for a ramble to Waitrose, which was all we thought we had to do. We all sat in the garden of the Plough where Bronco
showed us his new watch and told us about his new hobby of collecting fountain pens. Lafayette regaled him with anecdotes
about his hobby of collecting 1970's and 1980's spring piston air rifles, and they both succeeded in boring the pants of each other. (Not literally, I'm glad to say, cos Mrs Sandyballs was there and would have been embarrassed.)
When the eating and drinking had been done
Froggy got his map out and announced we were going to ramble back to Lewes (actually on foot again !!!) Well, we weren't exactly in much danger of getting lost so he led us off through a churchyard – very pretty, and then over some fields
to a main road leading back into Lewes. Hooray, there was a bus stop with the promise of transport to get back.
It was a long, long wait. Matt livened up the proceedings by getting at Paco for his unusually long hair
and threatening to put a pink ribbon in it. Then there was an earnest discussion about desserts resulting in the conclusion that Saga Cruises provide the best cheeseboards (nine different cheeses). [Actually French cruise ships
have a selection of 450 cheeses!Ed.]Meanwhile Lafayette was plotting with Curly on how they were going to conquer the world (again) and make everyone their slaves (except the NERDS).
While we were still waiting someone spied some idiot on a bike who was approaching us.
The weather had changed and it was now all cold and blowey with the threat of rain. Who would be daft enough to be out on a day like this being whizzed by heavy lorries and blown about by nasty cyclones? It was Sandyballs, of course, who had sneaked off from the ramble to go home, get changed and go out pedalling. Funny nobody had seen him leave!
Finally the bus came and we all went home. Nothing much else to say.
Thanks to Froggy for his thoughtful ramble and to Matt for supplying some of the entertainment value. Au Revoir.
The Wakey wakey Ramble. 18th October 2017.
Those Present – Sandyballs, Froggy, Lafayette, Curly.
The few of us who bothered to turn up met at Starbucks in Brighton where we ogled the foreign students and drank exotic concoctions. It wasn't a nice day, being damp and drizzly, but there again, Lafayette had been told we weren't rambling far so had come equipped only in Gucci loafers.
We went on a bus to The Downs Hotel at Woodingdean, an establishment we had visited previously and where the meals were cheap and filling. Froggy had brought with him his rambling bag in which he had an exotic stick
. “That's my striding stick,” he avowed. “ It helps me walk over the difficult bits.” The rest of us collapsed in laughter. Whatever next – a Nordic Nerd? We are not serious ramblers, we are drinkers who walk. ( although our leader that day seemed to think otherwise.)
On buying a drink
we were asked to move into the other room.
Apparently this was because there was a wake coming in later. OK , so we moved next door, had another drink and ate the welcome, cheap lunch.
Then a lot of other people came into the lounge – all of these dressed in black. Ye gods, another wake! So we all put on glum faces and tried to fit in.
This was the NERDS' Suicide Cult at its first meeting. Funny all the new wakeists didn't seem overly sad and were clearly enjoying their celebration. The dead one must have left them some money, I expect.
Outside we were directed up a hill to the start of the Downs.
Sandyballs had a map so nothing could go wrong. The track was straight and up and up. Lafayette feared for the safety of his Gucci loafers as it was getting ever more muddy.
Higher and higher we went.
The wind strarted howling, it was cold, the light started to disappear. S.B. started looking puzzled. Oh Dear. Indecision reigned . Oh Dear again. As usual four different opinions came forth about how to get to Rottingdean.
None of them right.
Then someone spotted a windmill. A big, white job.
Certainly not Rottingdean. It turned out to be Kingston, miles and miles off our planned route, but nearer to enable Sandyballs to get home to Lewes. Conspiracy or not? Anyway we slid down the slidy path trying to avoid breaking our necks on the precipitous descent, and fortunately ended up in The Juggs where we sat outside (would you believe?) and drank Harveys.
Lafayette's Gucci loafers were now covered in mud
and he no longer had a bearer to clean them for him. Tough titty, but there again I suppose that's what wives are for.
We agreed that S.B. needed to go on a map reading course since that's two rambles where we've got hopelessly lost. Even Froggy managed a (relatively) uncomplicated ramble last month.
It's now coming up to Christmas and a Lewes pub needs to be selected for the seasonal festivities. Perhaps Sandyballs needs Lafayette to guide him round Lewes for this important task.
Bonne nuit, les NERDS.
Lafayette.
