December Christmas Ramble 2017

Ramble No 337. Christmas Ramble 2017.

Those present - Sandyballs, Lafayette, Froggy, Curly, Paco, The Bish, Matt.

Sandyballs and Lafayette had taken great pains to ensure that this year's Christmas ramble and meal were on track by selflessly mounting a prior expedition to Kingston from Lewes to visit The Juggs and test out its food and drinks menu. So, the venue having passed its initial test was confirmed and joining instructions were issued.

It was a good turn-out with only The Captain and Bronco being absent. The rest of the NERDS met at Lewes station where Froggy first of all took some photos of us

on the seat outside the station to remind us how old we were all looking. Then he moaned that there were to be no pit-stops en route for the traditional Christmas drink. S.B. and Laf ignored all these tantrums; they had worked out the length of the ramble to the last second and no diversions were to be allowed for.

Paco was looking particularly old that day. He had abandoned the pink silk ribbon which Matt had given him to keep his long hair tidy and started to grow a scruffy beard.

Whether this was in homage to poor deceased Philby or whether he was trying to get the job of Santa Claus that year in Lidl was not made clear.

Anyway, on, on we marched to Kingston all on tarmac bar one bit of rural route up through the carpark into the pub. The weather was surprisingly mild although it was a bit grey but Sandyballs livened up the atmosphere by sporting his usual festive jumper.

Once inside we all gathered around the pub fire and were told by the landlord to keep it going or we wouldn't get any more beer. Curly

was given the job of being log monitor since he was sitting next to the fire, but unfortunately had forgotten his password so wasn't able to log in immediately (boom, boom!)

We were initially told that we were not to be seated in the back room with the big banqueting table where Lafayette usually holds his birthday feasts, but in the dining room to the right of the bar. This turned out to be surprisingly OK

with a festive atmosphere and what turned out to be a very good meal of turkey and plum pud etc. even though the crackers were crap.

Paco told us all about his recent road accident when he had slaughtered vast swathes of people driving on the M6 but had fortunately escaped unscathed apart from fucking up his car a bit, and Froggy

told us about an old Christmas tradition in Wales where you go out with a few lumps of coal and burn peoples' gates down. ( Laf may have confused Christmas and Hogmany here.) also Froggy gave us a new date for his latest BPR to Worthing so that we could all rearrange our lives and join in instead of staying at home fornicating and taking drugs again. (Matt,

be warned; Cardinal Sins are out until Lent.)

After much wine drinking and clandestine calvados pouring we exited and caught the country bus into Lewes and stopped off at The Runaway at the station for ‘un petit digestif’. Sandyballs told us that the next day he was due to receive his very expensive ear trumpet which he planned to wear with the label dangling out to impress all his followers on Facebook.

Then we all went home.

Merry Christmas to one and all. May all your mince pies be large ones!

Lafayette.

November 2017 Ramble

NERDS' Rambles 336 and 337.

Ramble 336 - 15th November 2017

Those Present - Froggy, Lafayette, Curly, The Captain, Paco, Imogen and Bandido, Sandyballs (late arrival.)

Plan A, formulated by Sandyballs, was to take the NERDS right up Seaford Head thus killing off most of us, and then presumably having lunch at the Golf Club. Fortunately S.B. had to take a relative to hospital so he couldn't have his wicked way. Instead Froggy was put in charge so we all met up at Seaford station to bargain our way to the shortest ramble possible.

Imogen and Bandido had heard of a new caff right next to the station which everybody had been walking past for weeks now but which only perspicacious women with big black dogs had noticed.

It was called “Steamworks” and looked very stylish so we all went in to talk to the nice couple who were busy setting it up and to have a coffee and Jamesons.

After refreshments came the thorny question of where to walk

and where to lunch. Froggy gave us the usual thousand and one options and we finally decided to walk along the sea shore to Newhaven. Plan B for lunch was to be The Flying Fish. OK, so we set off and Laf’ duly rang up S.B. to give him advance notice of the new arrangements so that “he could meet us at the pub.”

In the seafront park Paco took charge of the slavering monster and walked around with his darkened glasses looking like the archetypal blind man with a guide dog.

Bandido was busy sniffing bits of shit and nearly allowed Paco to walk into the sea. Some guide dog!

Newhaven was fast approaching when someone raised doubts about the quality of the cooking at the Fish. After a lot of argy bargy NERDS' democracy came into play once again and the lunchtime venue was switched to The Ark at Newhaven (Plan C.)

Dutifully, Lafayette dug out his phone once again to inform Sandyballs who was beginning to realise that his iron grip on the discipline of the NERDS was surely slipping, and that he ought to get back and take charge.

Fortunately The Ark was open (nobody had checked this) and we managed to bag the big table at the back.

Sandyballs had rushed back from Brighton in a panic and was already there supping Harveys and biting his fingernails with stress. Things calmed down, we all had a very pleasant meal with lots of wine and stuff,

and then everybody cleared off leaving Lafayette to go home and worry about his writer's bloc. He's thinking of advertising for a ghost writer

to take on the awesome responsibility of churning out crap every month. Are there any ghosts out there with a vivid imagination?

Christmas Ramble 2017 Aftermath

Dear Nerds,

Those of you who were able to come today ----------did this, in all pictoral glory! The Juggs's fare was actually rather nice and apart from the obvious kiddies crackers, we all had a jolly good time!

Thank you Harry for organising a good Christmas Ramble and seeing that we all got back to Lewes safely and without any further walking.

It was unamimously agreed today to undertake the BPL to Worthing next week on Thursday 14th instead of Wednesday 13th.

This is what I said, inter alia (remember having to use this in statements)? about the proposed BPL, 2 weeks back:-

"And so a return to the Rose & Crown in Worthing for those sumptious pensioner's portions would seem a good start to the 2017-2018 season on Wednesday 13th December(plenty of notice). Regretably for those with hunger for yet more Christmas Fare - there doesn't seem to be such a menu on their website?

The proposed 12x should be passing Sutton Corner @ 09:37; Seaford Library @ 09:40 and Newhaven South Way @ 09:52 - arriving at Churchill Square at 10:20 in time for a familiar proposed meeting in Starbucks for @ 10:30 before jumping on the next available 700 Coastliner to Worthing."

So, we can meet up with Harry (and Malcy Baby, if you can make it)? and take a 700 opposite Starbucks and along a bit, as and when?

The last BPL to Worthing was very successful, let us hope this one will be as well?

Froggy B.P.L (is that any better than an M.B.E)? Xx

Goodness, I don't think any of us have ever looked so old. - Except Matt who is the oldest yet manages to look the youngest.
Laf

.Oh my god ...those photos must be incinerated without delay. Physical beauty is a rare gift , the first to be prayed upon by nature .
A very good Nerds day out . Phil ....please tell us who is going to Peru with you ....I can’t stand the suspense.
Full of Christmas cheer....love you all and cords .
Matt

Christmas Ramble 2017 Meeting

We will meet to begin the festive fun

on Wednesday 6th outside Lewes station at about 10.45. No Admiral or Bronco, so we will be 7 at table. The Magnificent Seven.

Hope you remember your food choices. Food should be served from 1PM. As is customary now, NERDS should purchase their own drinks.

Hope we all have fun. Looking forward to the January Lafayette -Sandyballs Birthday bash with Special Guest (we hope) BT!!
S. Balls

2017 Christmas Ramble Joining Instructions

Dear NERDS,

We are all booked in for the Xmas dinner at The Juggs

in Kingston on Wednesday 6/12. We shall be 7 'at table' although it would be nice if Bronco could join us, thus also avoiding the dreaded odd number!!

If the Seaford contingent could take the 10.25 , collecting Lafayette en route, I will join you at Lewes station at about 10.45. We then take the familiar short jog to Kingston for our festive lunch.

Matt and Bish - I have paid your £10 deposit on your behalf. Bish - I have told the pub that you would prefer Cheese and biscuits to a dessert for medical reasons and they have no problems with that.

Bronco - how about joining us ? Taxi job from Ringmer? Let me know if you would like to come. Would be great if you can.

See you all on the day.

Sandyballs

November 2017 joining advice

Fellow Nerds,

Be warned! The Plough & Harrow operates a system of muddy boots off.

Unless of course you have something to cover them?

Harry! You'll be excited to tuck into lashings of ham under the 2 eggs and chips and it is the cheapest on the menu at £10.50!

Or you could have a horseshoe gammon steak etc for the same price.
As for everything else, please bring spares arms and legs!

See yous at the station at 10:15 on Wednesday

Froggy Xx

Christmas Ramble Arrangements 2017

Hi all.

As Lafayette mentioned in his email, the Christmas ramble will take place on Wednesday Dec 6th. This time at the familiar Juggs Arms at Kingston. Can I ask you all to look at the Christmas menu at the pub website (not the Christmas Day menu) and let me know your choices. I would also appreciate your £10 deposit at some stage. I can possibly collect some of these at the November ramble on the 15th.

Keep taking your tablets.

Sandyballs

Ramble dates

Dear NERDS,

The following are dates for the next three rambles:

Wednesday 15th November

Wednesday 6th December

Thursday 11th January 2018

Please note that Christmas dinner will take place at The Juggs at Kingston.

Sandyballs is going to make a booking for us on the above date and then we can

consult their Christmas menu on-line and give him our choices.



Lafayette.

September's and October's Write-ups

NERDS' Rambles Nos. 334 and 335.


Ramble 334 – Froggy's ramble to Ringmer. 13th Sept. 2017.

Those present – Sandyballs, Lafayette, Matt, Paco, Curly, Froggy, The Bish, Mrs Sandyballs, Bronco.

Froggy was going to take us to Pete's place at Arlington and to the Plough er... somewhere else but the opening times of the two pubs failed to coincide so plan B was invoked to take us all to Ringmer.

NERDS went to Lewes by train, to Waitrose on foot (!!!) and then by bus to The Anchor where Bronco lives most of the time. It was a bright sunny day,

 just right for a ramble to Waitrose, which was all we thought we had to do. We all sat in the garden of the Plough where Bronco

showed us his new watch and told us about his new hobby of collecting fountain pens. Lafayette regaled him with anecdotes

about his hobby of collecting 1970's and 1980's spring piston air rifles, and they both succeeded in boring the pants of each other. (Not literally, I'm glad to say, cos Mrs Sandyballs was there and would have been embarrassed.)

When the eating and drinking had been done

Froggy got his map out and announced we were going to ramble back to Lewes (actually on foot again !!!) Well, we weren't exactly in much danger of getting lost so he led us off through a churchyard – very pretty, and then over some fields

to a main road leading back into Lewes. Hooray, there was a bus stop with the promise of transport to get back.

It was a long, long wait. Matt livened up the proceedings by getting at Paco for his unusually long hair

and threatening to put a pink ribbon in it. Then there was an earnest discussion about desserts resulting in the conclusion that Saga Cruises provide the best cheeseboards (nine different cheeses). [Actually French cruise ships

have a selection of 450 cheeses!Ed.]Meanwhile Lafayette was plotting with Curly on how they were going to conquer the world (again) and make everyone their slaves (except the NERDS).

While we were still waiting someone spied some idiot on a bike who was approaching us.

The weather had changed and it was now all cold and blowey with the threat of rain. Who would be daft enough to be out on a day like this being whizzed by heavy lorries and blown about by nasty cyclones? It was Sandyballs, of course, who had sneaked off from the ramble to go home, get changed and go out pedalling. Funny nobody had seen him leave!

Finally the bus came and we all went home. Nothing much else to say.

Thanks to Froggy for his thoughtful ramble and to Matt for supplying some of the entertainment value. Au Revoir.

The Wakey wakey Ramble. 18th October 2017.

Those Present – Sandyballs, Froggy, Lafayette, Curly.

The few of us who bothered to turn up met at Starbucks in Brighton where we ogled the foreign students and drank exotic concoctions. It wasn't a nice day, being damp and drizzly, but there again, Lafayette had been told we weren't rambling far so had come equipped only in Gucci loafers.

We went on a bus to The Downs Hotel at Woodingdean, an establishment we had visited previously and where the meals were cheap and filling. Froggy had brought with him his rambling bag in which he had an exotic stick

. “That's my striding stick,” he avowed. “ It helps me walk over the difficult bits.” The rest of us collapsed in laughter. Whatever next – a Nordic Nerd? We are not serious ramblers, we are drinkers who walk. ( although our leader that day seemed to think otherwise.)

On buying a drink

we were asked to move into the other room.

Apparently this was because there was a wake coming in later. OK , so we moved next door, had another drink and ate the welcome, cheap lunch.

Then a lot of other people came into the lounge – all of these dressed in black. Ye gods, another wake! So we all put on glum faces and tried to fit in.

This was the NERDS' Suicide Cult at its first meeting. Funny all the new wakeists didn't seem overly sad and were clearly enjoying their celebration. The dead one must have left them some money, I expect.

Outside we were directed up a hill to the start of the Downs.

Sandyballs had a map so nothing could go wrong. The track was straight and up and up. Lafayette feared for the safety of his Gucci loafers as it was getting ever more muddy.

Higher and higher we went.

The wind strarted howling, it was cold, the light started to disappear. S.B. started looking puzzled. Oh Dear. Indecision reigned . Oh Dear again. As usual four different opinions came forth about how to get to Rottingdean.

None of them right.

Then someone spotted a windmill. A big, white job.

Certainly not Rottingdean. It turned out to be Kingston, miles and miles off our planned route, but nearer to enable Sandyballs to get home to Lewes. Conspiracy or not? Anyway we slid down the slidy path trying to avoid breaking our necks on the precipitous descent, and fortunately ended up in The Juggs where we sat outside (would you believe?) and drank Harveys.

Lafayette's Gucci loafers were now covered in mud

and he no longer had a bearer to clean them for him. Tough titty, but there again I suppose that's what wives are for.

We agreed that S.B. needed to go on a map reading course since that's two rambles where we've got hopelessly lost. Even Froggy managed a (relatively) uncomplicated ramble last month.

It's now coming up to Christmas and a Lewes pub needs to be selected for the seasonal festivities. Perhaps Sandyballs needs Lafayette to guide him round Lewes for this important task.

Bonne nuit, les NERDS.

Lafayette.