December Christmas Ramble 2017

Ramble No 337. Christmas Ramble 2017.

Those present - Sandyballs, Lafayette, Froggy, Curly, Paco, The Bish, Matt.

Sandyballs and Lafayette had taken great pains to ensure that this year's Christmas ramble and meal were on track by selflessly mounting a prior expedition to Kingston from Lewes to visit The Juggs and test out its food and drinks menu. So, the venue having passed its initial test was confirmed and joining instructions were issued.

It was a good turn-out with only The Captain and Bronco being absent. The rest of the NERDS met at Lewes station where Froggy first of all took some photos of us

on the seat outside the station to remind us how old we were all looking. Then he moaned that there were to be no pit-stops en route for the traditional Christmas drink. S.B. and Laf ignored all these tantrums; they had worked out the length of the ramble to the last second and no diversions were to be allowed for.

Paco was looking particularly old that day. He had abandoned the pink silk ribbon which Matt had given him to keep his long hair tidy and started to grow a scruffy beard.

Whether this was in homage to poor deceased Philby or whether he was trying to get the job of Santa Claus that year in Lidl was not made clear.

Anyway, on, on we marched to Kingston all on tarmac bar one bit of rural route up through the carpark into the pub. The weather was surprisingly mild although it was a bit grey but Sandyballs livened up the atmosphere by sporting his usual festive jumper.

Once inside we all gathered around the pub fire and were told by the landlord to keep it going or we wouldn't get any more beer. Curly

was given the job of being log monitor since he was sitting next to the fire, but unfortunately had forgotten his password so wasn't able to log in immediately (boom, boom!)

We were initially told that we were not to be seated in the back room with the big banqueting table where Lafayette usually holds his birthday feasts, but in the dining room to the right of the bar. This turned out to be surprisingly OK

with a festive atmosphere and what turned out to be a very good meal of turkey and plum pud etc. even though the crackers were crap.

Paco told us all about his recent road accident when he had slaughtered vast swathes of people driving on the M6 but had fortunately escaped unscathed apart from fucking up his car a bit, and Froggy

told us about an old Christmas tradition in Wales where you go out with a few lumps of coal and burn peoples' gates down. ( Laf may have confused Christmas and Hogmany here.) also Froggy gave us a new date for his latest BPR to Worthing so that we could all rearrange our lives and join in instead of staying at home fornicating and taking drugs again. (Matt,

be warned; Cardinal Sins are out until Lent.)

After much wine drinking and clandestine calvados pouring we exited and caught the country bus into Lewes and stopped off at The Runaway at the station for ‘un petit digestif’. Sandyballs told us that the next day he was due to receive his very expensive ear trumpet which he planned to wear with the label dangling out to impress all his followers on Facebook.

Then we all went home.

Merry Christmas to one and all. May all your mince pies be large ones!

Lafayette.