NERDS’ Ramble No. 278 - 4th Jan. 2013.
Those Present - Lafayette, Sandyballs, Froggy, Paco.
Lafayette’s Birthday Bash 2013.
Today was Lafayette’s birthday. He had already received a nice card from B.T. reminding him that he ought to be outside shooting wild boar instead of slumping in front of the telly watching yet another darts tournament. The NERDS were coming round to drag him out for a bit of fresh air so Lafayette got together all his bottle ends of booze and Dundee cake for the swarm of locusts about to descend.
Well, two of them turned up at the start. Froggy came bearing Calvados - always a welcome sight, ie. the Calvados; then Sandyballs with sweet wine and chocolate - how well he knew Lafayette’s sophisticated tastes! But where was El Paco? Lafayette had rung him up a few days before and got a firm promise of attendance but so far he was a no show.
However half an hour into the ensuing festivities even Paco turned up clutching yet another bottle of Calva for the lucky Laf.
Sandyballs reported that his new grandson was as yet still unnamed; Lafayette suggested they call it Mary - just to be different, but SB didn’t think that would go down too well with his daughter so the idea was shelved.
Plans were refined for inflicting the NERDS on Paco’s sister’s Summer Palace this May and a trip to Dieppe in the Autumn was mooted. Sounds a good idea; we need to keep the old ferry in business. (Lafayette reported from his Coastwatch perch that radio messages between The Cote d’Albatre and the port authorities indicated passenger numbers were low). The NERDS were getting such travellers that a Saga cruise with Muscles Matt and his Black and White Cat, should not be entirely ruled out.
And so the “ramble” started. You may remember that last month there was not a lot of walking done because of the bad weather, well this month there seemed to be another conspiracy aimed at the NERDS - called the lure of pubs with open doors. You see, the ramble was going well; we had the purest intentions of walking in the general direction of the port and along the banks of the Mighty Ouse. However, just as we got level with The Engineer Froggy noticed a light shining from within, and decided that now would be a good time to make arrangements for his retirement do.
So we all piled into The Engineer. Bob was standing there in his dressing gown, yawning. He’d obviously been up for hours. The arrangements were made; seemed rude not to have a drink, just a quick one then we’ll be on our way ( How many times have you heard these famous last words).
One drink of course led to another and just then Bob’s extended family came in distract us further. There were Natalie and Kerry (daughters) and Lily-May, Connor,(son), and Zak. Lafayette was a bit puzzled by Zak since he was obviously of Caucasian race yet Laf had had an interpreter of the same name working for him in Pakistan and he certainly wasn’t a white bloke. Then we were joined by daughter number three, Nicky, with kids Olivia and Paige. The NERDS were gob smacked by so many Yummy Mummies and kids running around. Sandyballs remarked that The Engineer wasn’t a pub any more, but these days seemed to be just a creche which happened to sell Harvey’s.
A look at the time. Oh dear, it’s nearly lunch time and we were due at the Flying Fish. I know, let’s cut the ramble (boring weather, anyway) and go straight there.
NERDS’ flexibility once again. So we “rambled” through Newhaven to Denton and thence to The Flying Fish.
The shame about this pub is that it sells crap beer. No Harvey’s here, instead Shepherd Neame which is poor by comparison. So why do we come here especially since the place is run by an Australian? (no taste in beer, these Aussies). Well, the food is really good.
Last year L Lafayette took both the NERDS and the Darksiders here and they all liked the food. Since it was his birthday Lafayette was allowed to have the last hotpot - better than those from Lancashire (allegedly).
Suddenly the door was flung open and there appeared the mighty figure of Dumpling Dwyer who had been unable to join us at the start for business reasons. Apparently some guy from the Midlands had made him an offer he couldn’t refuse on his posh Land Rover Evoque, and had come haring down from Dudley to seal the deal. Never let business get in the way of entertainment says Dumpling, not that money had anything to do with it!
It was time to return to The Engineer to see our unreconstructed racist of a landlord who hopefully had changed out of his dressing gown by now. So back to the creche we went and, surprise, surprise, the place was still full of kids.
By now the drink was kicking in leading Lafayette to suggest the nameless grandson to be either called Zak (very trendy) or Buffalo-cum Griffin-Ryan
( a bit extreme). In the event, later news revealed he would be Dominic, a brother for Flintoff. (sounds like a bloody monk)
So in due course the NERDS escaped from the wonderful world of children at the Harvey’s creche and went home. Lafayette had had a good birthday with lots of cards and presents and things, so thanks to all those who participated and contributed. Looks like another calvados party when B.T. comes over next time.
Muchas gracias, Los Nierdos.
Lafayette.
