NERDS' (joint) Ramble No. 314 - 6th Jan. 2016.
Those Present –
(NERDS) – Sandyballs, Lafayette, Froggy, Matt,
Paco, The Bish, Curly, Shaz, Dio.
Darksiders – Ed, Sheila, Jane, Roger, Marion, Dave.
The Joint Juggs Walk.
This was Lafayette's January walk and he was determined it would be shortish – as opposed to the marathon walks often organised by Darksider, Ed. The NERDS don't really care how far they ramble these days as long as there's a drink at the end of it; in fact for them - in view of advancing age, arthritis, bad chests and no prostates, often the shorter the better. (except for Dio
, of course, who is still disgustingly young).
Lafayette gave all those coming from a distance an extra hour in bed by starting from Lewes at after 11 00hrs, but when he led the NERDS into the Runaway cafe to await the London train he met two bleary eyed Darksiders, Ed
and Jane
, who had got there before everyone else. Were they a secret couple? They both vehemently denied this. No, Jane had simply just got a different train from what was expected, and Ed had probably been up since 4 o'clock doing his own 20 mile preparatory walk to keep up his own high standards of exercise.
After a bit of hanging around, the train came in from the North, and there was a lot of kissy kissy stuff among the Darksiders while the NERDS sat apart somewhat embarassed at all this emotive behaviour. However the more uninhibited NERDs managed to do a bit of kissy-kissy with Shaz
, who is after all an adopted NERD and likes a bit of kissy-kissy now and again.
Lafayette gathered them all up and proceeded down the road with a plan. He intended to stop after about 300 yards and take everybody into the Kings Head
in Southover for a quick pitstop.
Unfortunately the barmaid put up some legal impediment to this, saying it was not yet twelve o'clock (even though the pub was opened and licensed) and she was too young to serve beer before noon. I bet they don't have this trouble in the Baltic States where most of the Lewes barmaids come from. Imagine refusing to serve a dozen or so thirsty labouring Slavs
who might come piling in demanding a drink. There'd be a riot. Anyway Lafayette looked at her threateningly and said they'd all be back in due course whereupon he hoped she might have got her act together.
On, on, we went through Southover, under a waterlogged bridge, and round the path
skirting the Rugby Club. The weather for once this winter was not pissing down with rain; in fact it was bright sunny and pleasant. The NERDS began to fraternise with the Darksiders (although they drew the line at kissy-kissy stuff) and things were going reasonably well. Lafayette decided to go on the tarmac version of his walk since he knew the surrounding fields were sodden, but this didn't matter because the walk towards Kingston was pleasant and ruralish anyway.
Soon we all rocked up to The Juggs
where we were to take lunch. This pub is all low beams and open fireplaces. It comes into its own especially during the summer months when people sit outside to eat in its pleasant gardens and the sparrows zoom in to share your meal. Anyway we all piled in, thirsty by now, and managed to get a drink since this barman was old enough to service our requirements.
After he had gone off to inspect the dining arrangements Lafayette returned to the bar and was disturbed to find that somebody had agreed to put all the food and all the drinks on to one massive tab. Lafayette smelled future trouble here. We were dealing with two rambling groups with two separate systems of paying for drinks, with people having starters , not having starters, people who were mean with their money people who weren't drinking at all etc, ie. when it came to paying it was going to be total chaos. Still, he thought, after a few drinks I certainly won't care and I expect it'll all work out in the end.
To calm everyone down Lafayette ordered a few bottles of Prosecco
(paid for by himself – just in case you thought it had gone on the tab - to celebrate his birthday of two days previously) and this seemed to mellow everyone a bit. Darksiders especially like prosecco, or should I say that Ed likes buying prosecco for Darksiders – it's always somebody's birthday after all.
Then came the meal, and it must be said the food was very, very, good indeed ( except perhaps Marion's
vegetarian cauliflower sausages which she said tasted of nothing at all). The NERDS got stuck into the food and the Rioja and learned that poor Sheila had undertaken a New Year's pledge to eschew all drink in favour of water for a month to help all the poor orphans in Syria or the starving donkeys in Serbia or something. Very noble but not a good idea when faced with a large rambling occasion. Lafayette was sure that the poor little donkeys
would be grateful to know that Sheila was thinking about them!
Finally the bill arrived, and yes it caused utter mayhem. Lafayette found he was surrounded by a lot of arguing voices, a lot of banknotes and a lot of females giving him advice on how to proceed. Such fun! However he kept his cool and found there was enough to cover everything including a reasonable tip. By this time he'd drunk so much prosecco and rioja that he didn't give a damn anyway.
And so we left The Juggs and wandered through Kingston to get on the path back to Lewes. We went up a steep hill, passed a white windmill
and over a fairly muddy plain to descend into the town. Sandyballs had a sudden senior moment and declared he was lost, which was pretty funny really considering he actually lives in Lewes and was only about a mile from his house.
Lafayette managed to navigate enerringly back by striking out towards the nearest pub – The Swan at Southover
- where there seemed to be some party going on which involved a lot of small kids screaming and running around our feet.. It was at this point that a lot of people who had trains to catch bailed out and went home. Meanwhile the Last Men Standing stayed and tried to drink each other under the table. (This was, of course, Ed, Lafayette and Shaz – although Dio was there but he didn't count since he was only drinking coca cola).
Shaz then peeled off and staggered back to the station leaving only Ed, Lafayette and Dio to go to the Kings Head to berate the former barmaid and demand a drink now it was past twelve o'clock. (They got one).
And so the latest joint ramble wound up. The weather had been good and everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Lafayette had got a nice card and birthday present from Sheila and nobody had fallen out with anyone else (quite an achievement for the NERDS) We missed Bronco who had been ill that day and wish him a speedy recovery from his cold.
And so to the next NERDS outing which is some time in February.
Lets hope since it's just the NERDS there won't be any kissy-kissy this time. ( especially from you, Matt) so see you all whenever.
Love to all.
Lafayette.
