May's Ramble with Obituary for Philby

N.E.R.D.S. Ramble 224. 15th May 2008


Those Present – Sandyballs, Lafayette, Froggy, Matt.

The Bad Leg Ramble


Lafayette reviewed his contemporaneous notes scrawled contemporaneously about a month ago and, unable to decipher his shaky handwriting on the back of two manky embark cards, decided to make up the whole episode for a change.

He vaguely rememembered Sandyballs picking everybody up at Lewes station and taking them back to his place for coffee and stuff. Matt was going on about smelling the money at this end of Lewes but all Lafayette could smell was an unpleasant odour from Sandy balls’ garden where all his cats were buried. The usual aperitifs were taken and over this working breakfast more ephemeral plans were discussed about the on coming Dublin celebratory bash. This must be to celebrate twenty years of erm rambling or was it just another excuse to get arseoled in a foreign country again ? I forget.

Anyway, after getting his guests well oiled, Sandyballs drove us all to The Bells at Chiddingly where another pre ramble aperitif was taken to fortify us for the route ahead.
Lafayette’s notes refer to Sandyballs’ ‘ festering face with a skull peeping out,’ but whether this referred to a gargoyle in the local church or yet another Sandyballs skin cancer death threat is unclear. He’s ugly enough at the best of times.

So we roamed over hill and dale and got lost around somewhere called Clarky’s Farm which inspired Matt to start to make morbid plans for his own funeral and insist that Curly Clarke be given a special invitation. (something to do with atonement and reconciliation). However, just as we were crossing a perfectly flat field Froggy spotted an old clapped out foot ball and, imagining he was still in the first flush of youth, gives it a hearty wack, misses and snaps both hamstring and femur in his fervour. The others completely ignored his piteous cries for help - we know all about attention seekers - whereupon he got to his feet and stomped after us cursing.

We proceeded to East Hoathly and asked a postie the way to the Kings Head , but he couldn’t help us (obviously a damned teetotaler). When we found the pub we enjoyed an excellent meal plus the pick of the local beer whose name escapes me but which was brewed in the pub. Froggy kept complaining about gangrene and threatening to die but I expect you can guess what the response was to that.

Shortly afterwards we enquired at the post office where a second pub, The Foresters, was, and got given the right directions by a proper postman who obviously liked a drink. So we sat out side under an umbrella and quaffed our final pint of the day. Froggy was writhing on the floor and screaming at this stage but again we took no notice apart from telling him to pull himself together.

Sandyballs drove us back to Lewes station where on the train we met a young tree surgeon who Matt tried to chat up, and from whom Froggy tried to elicit some sympathy for his broken leg. The tree surgeon offered to help Froggy by amputating his leg but the lad declined on the grounds that he wouldn’t be able to walk home from the station. Aint life tough!

In Memoriam

It was on a very sad Friday the Thirteenth of June after the above ramble that we learned of the premature death of our fellow NERD, Philby. He had rambled with us for many years before getting posted to Belgium where he had gone to carry on the fine traditions of the Nerds. Often disorganized and frequently pursued by his demons, Philby was nevertheless a totally social and sociable animal. He had a few years ago organized a celebratory ramble to his cousin’s Mill in Belgium where the Nerds had the opportunity of meeting all his interesting cousins and where he exercised his tour leader qualities by taking us all round Louvain. He loved to party and no party was too long for him. He was individual and often eccentric but he always enjoyed a good time.

He was unique, a fellow Nerd and a mate, and we shall all miss him.


Lafayette.

In Memorium

It is with great sadness that I publish the news of the demise of Philby. He had been so much a part of our lives both on rambles and in absentia. I will say more on this later but presently I cannot say mpre because I am too overcome.