October's Ramble joining instructions

Dear NERDS,

This month we go a-frollicking on Wednesday 28th. I was minded to do the Devil's Dyke ramble we failed to do last month but on checking I found that the bus finished at the end of Sept. Good job I checked!

Instead we will take a ramble we have only done once before but I think it was a good one. We will walk from Southease station through to the village of Telescombe then on to Peacehaven for lunch at the moderately priced Carvery there. No nonsense grub and plenty of it. NERDS-approved, if I remember. Then of course the 12 bus back to the relative civilisations of Newhaven and Seaford.

So, the 10.25 from Seaford Central to Southease. My train from Lewes arrives within a couple of minutes of yours.

Unfortunately The Abergaveny Arms in Rodmell does not open until 12 noon - so no pit-stop there I am afraid.....

SB

September's Write-up for 2015

NERDS' “Ramble” No. 310 - 24th Sept. 2015.



Those Present – Froggy, Sandyballs, Lafayette, Matt, Curly.



The Ramble where nobody really rambled



Great plans were afoot for this ramble. Sandyballs had consulted the old book of Brighton Rambles which he had re-discovered down the back of his sofa and decided we should go up to Devil's Dyke. Lafayette was a bit dubious about this; he knew from his important job up on the cliffs at Newhaven that hang-glider people favoured Devil's Dyke to launch themslves into oblivion, and he suspected S.B. had got a NERDS' day of frightening hang-gliding planned. Lafayette was scared of heights; he didn't want to go hang-gliding; he wanted to die with his boots on in bed, or at least on terra firma in a pub or something. Fortunately that morning it rained...........



The rendez-vous was in Starbucks again.

As described in last month's write-up, Laf. liked Starbucks; it enabled him to feel oldly superior to all the gilded youth who wafted in and out chattering on their phones and up-dating their Facebook profiles. Such superficial, solipsistic pass-times! Why didn't they go and get a proper job like serving in a bar or going up a chimney? Grrr.

Taxpayer's money, bloody wastrels rant, rant....



Anyway, the NERDS met in Starbucks and sat on Lafayette before he could throw any more paper cups at the idle students. Then someone remarked that the weather forecast that day was for rain and yet more rain. Lafayette cheered up. “So no hang-gliding then?” “ What's this bollocks about hang-gliding? S.B. wanted to know. “That was never the plan; I had actually fixed up a paint-balling session as a surprise but it looks as if that's out because of the rain. Guess we'll just have to have an enormous meal and hang around a few pubs instead.” “ Aw shucks,” replied the NERDS.



And so we went shopping – yes shopping, like girlies do. Sandyballs went straight to his favourite bike shop and bought all sorts of useless, expensive gadgets, Froggy

went into Waterstones to see how proper people wrote proper books and Matt just hung about looking beautiful. Lafayette,

meanwhile had sneaked off to his favourite gun shop in the Lanes to see if the Webley and Scott, Mark VI ultra high velocity tap loading adjusting screw which he had ordered the previous week had come in yet. (It hadn't). So then we reverted to Plan C and went into the Sussex Arms for a quick drink.



Good pub this except half the beer advertised didn't exist so we accepted the barmaid's recommendation and (whatever it was) found it quite acceptable.

She, of course, was from the Czech Republic (this was Brighton after all) and her name was Maria. She leaned on the bar and hoovered up the NERDS' fascinating stories of the trip to Prague. How The Bish had dropped his false teeth down the loo, how the food there had been excellent and how Lafayette had been complimented incessantly on his amazing choice of restaurants; how Curly had received offers of marriage from at least two czech barmaids called Kylie and how Froggy had always got himself the best seat wherever we sat down. Oh how Maria hung on to our every word and said it made her feel so home-sick.



Lunch in the pub was very good; most people had a pie

and they were very good. By now we were thinking that the beer (whatever it was) was very good too, when all of a sudden a group of women on a hen party invaded the place. Now this lot were really cool. The average age was only fifteen years older than the youngest NERD. Some had blue rinses, some even had their own teeth! They were five and there were five of us so Lafayette thought he'd go over and try his luck cos he fancied the one with the stick.

Turned out they were all over from Torquay and were determined to get wasted in the Brighton clubs and spend all their pensions on coke. Matt came up and managed to outsmooth even Lafayette who by now had realised he was out of his league and managed to make his escape.



Next up we went down to the beach – well, you've got to in Brighton, haven't you, and then sat at a table at the Tempest Inn. This was far from being a coaching facility and when we went upstairs for a leak it turned out to be a rather snazzy club with amazing lighting and hidden recesses for snogging or taking drugs or other things which young people do (updating Facebook profiles again.) We met more girls (younger this time and both called, by sheer coincidence, Maria and Maria. Matt told them they ought to get jobs as barmaids and they said they'd both come up for the day from Southampton for a bit of razzle dazzle in a different city. (Why do people from seaside towns go to other seaside towns? What's wrong with the country?) Anyway the NERDS thought Maria and Maria were giggling too much so took themselves off to Wetherspoons

to have a few Kraken and Cokes where the bill wouldn't cost an arm and a leg.

And so the non ramble finished with us all running for a bus. Well at least we'd all had a day out in Brighton and met a few interesting Marias. Sandyballs is saving up the paintballing at Devil's Dyke for next time, so buy a gun and get some target practice in!





Lafayette.

September's Ramble 2015

Pending the actual write up from Lafayette here is one of Froggy's photographs to keep everyone in the picture!