Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
NERDS’ Ramble No 240 - 11/11/09.
The Armistice Ramble
Those Present - Paco, Matt, Lafayette, Sandyballs, Froggy, Bronco.
This was to be a Remembrance ramble when the NERDS remembered fallen comrades …..well, there was just one and he had only fallen into bad company. Sadly he was no more and so Froggy (yet again Routemaster) decided we should have two minutes silence at 11 o’clock. The rest of the NERDS thought this was a brilliant idea since if nothing else it would stop Froggy from blethering on about bugger all for a short time.
And so under Froggy’s remarkable tutelage we met at Seaford where even Paco turned up clutching his bus pass for today’s excellent adventure. The idea was to go to Beachy Head (or near there, and not because we were all feeling depressed) and ramble downhill towards Eastbourne. So we got on the bus contemptuously waving our passes in Froggy’s face and scrambled upstairs to get the best seats. By the time Froggy appeared, having actually to have paid for his ticket, it was 11 o’clock. Goody, goody, he couldn’t moan at his parents laxity in making him younger than everyone else at this point. There was a silence but the bus failed to move off. Apparently Froggy had had a word with the driver, appealed to his conscience, given him some sob story about Philby or something and made him delay departing until 11 02 hrs.
The NERDS were all impressed, fancy holding up the Seaford public transport just in memory of some renegade NERD. Respect!
We started walking at the top of Eastbourne cliff. It was pleasantly sunny weather with a good view of the town below. Bronco told Lafayette that he had bought 3 different wax jackets recently in a BOGOF deal. Lafayette pointed out that he had only got 3 jackets instead of 4 but Bronco said they only had 3 different colours (!)
Lafayette couldn’t quite see the logic here but bowed to Bronco’s greater business sense.
Eventually we descended to The Pilot Inn at St. Bedes for lunch, a place known to both Matt and Froggy as serving good food. It was good. There was a wide array of beers and the food was excellent - lamb shanks all round except for Lafayette who had a really superb chicken and leak pie. Sandyballs noted that this was the first time no-one had had chips with their meal, something which grieved him muchly since he couldn’t hoover up the leftovers. Discussion turned to who should be the Christmas Mystery Guest this year, and the most popular choice was ‘that count Neil’ (have I misspelled that?) of S.B who had tried to stitch up Bronco for drink driving. Bronco, being a good Christian said that Neil would be very welcome but that he intended personally to crucify him for his sins.
Then we moved on down towards Eastbourne proper through a parky walky seafronty bit where we discussed the sad (non) affair which had occurred between Philby and one Cathryn Orpin. Paco said she hadn’t used to wear a bra and perhaps this had been her allure; Matt said Froggy didn’t wear a bra but Philby hadn’t gone chasing after him. Anyway it had all happened a long time ago and as usual had ended in tears.
There were lots of wooden benches along this bit of the walk - mostly commemorating dead people - no comment - but we finally found ourselves in The Buccaneer, a seemingly gayish pub which overlooked some cricket ground and where we sat at a round table and continued the discussion about the potential Mystery Guest. Lafayette wanted to get Usain Bolt, his big hero, but thought he might cost too much. Paco wanted to have Susan Doyle but that was vetoed because she was too hairy. Matt wanted to have Ronny Rebeiro but he too was vetoed on the grounds that he would eat too much. Someone did have the temerity to mention that the identity of the MG ought to remain perhaps a mystery until the Christmas Ramble but nobody had thought of that.
Anyway we ended up wandering through respectable Eastbourne (no hoodies here) looking for a bus home. There weren’t any chip shops here -too common, you see -so Sandyballs had to wait until Seaford to sate his jaded appetite.
As Matt said, Froggy had taken us to the edge of Paradise with this ramble, and he had! Maybe we could have half an hour’s silence next time (especially if Baby Flintoff is MG and goes to sleep on Sandyballs’ lap). Next ramble is the Christmas one; Lf and SB are sussing it out around the pubs already.
See you all.
Lafayette.
The Armistice Ramble
Those Present - Paco, Matt, Lafayette, Sandyballs, Froggy, Bronco.
This was to be a Remembrance ramble when the NERDS remembered fallen comrades …..well, there was just one and he had only fallen into bad company. Sadly he was no more and so Froggy (yet again Routemaster) decided we should have two minutes silence at 11 o’clock. The rest of the NERDS thought this was a brilliant idea since if nothing else it would stop Froggy from blethering on about bugger all for a short time.
And so under Froggy’s remarkable tutelage we met at Seaford where even Paco turned up clutching his bus pass for today’s excellent adventure. The idea was to go to Beachy Head (or near there, and not because we were all feeling depressed) and ramble downhill towards Eastbourne. So we got on the bus contemptuously waving our passes in Froggy’s face and scrambled upstairs to get the best seats. By the time Froggy appeared, having actually to have paid for his ticket, it was 11 o’clock. Goody, goody, he couldn’t moan at his parents laxity in making him younger than everyone else at this point. There was a silence but the bus failed to move off. Apparently Froggy had had a word with the driver, appealed to his conscience, given him some sob story about Philby or something and made him delay departing until 11 02 hrs.
The NERDS were all impressed, fancy holding up the Seaford public transport just in memory of some renegade NERD. Respect!
We started walking at the top of Eastbourne cliff. It was pleasantly sunny weather with a good view of the town below. Bronco told Lafayette that he had bought 3 different wax jackets recently in a BOGOF deal. Lafayette pointed out that he had only got 3 jackets instead of 4 but Bronco said they only had 3 different colours (!)
Lafayette couldn’t quite see the logic here but bowed to Bronco’s greater business sense.
Eventually we descended to The Pilot Inn at St. Bedes for lunch, a place known to both Matt and Froggy as serving good food. It was good. There was a wide array of beers and the food was excellent - lamb shanks all round except for Lafayette who had a really superb chicken and leak pie. Sandyballs noted that this was the first time no-one had had chips with their meal, something which grieved him muchly since he couldn’t hoover up the leftovers. Discussion turned to who should be the Christmas Mystery Guest this year, and the most popular choice was ‘that count Neil’ (have I misspelled that?) of S.B who had tried to stitch up Bronco for drink driving. Bronco, being a good Christian said that Neil would be very welcome but that he intended personally to crucify him for his sins.
Then we moved on down towards Eastbourne proper through a parky walky seafronty bit where we discussed the sad (non) affair which had occurred between Philby and one Cathryn Orpin. Paco said she hadn’t used to wear a bra and perhaps this had been her allure; Matt said Froggy didn’t wear a bra but Philby hadn’t gone chasing after him. Anyway it had all happened a long time ago and as usual had ended in tears.
There were lots of wooden benches along this bit of the walk - mostly commemorating dead people - no comment - but we finally found ourselves in The Buccaneer, a seemingly gayish pub which overlooked some cricket ground and where we sat at a round table and continued the discussion about the potential Mystery Guest. Lafayette wanted to get Usain Bolt, his big hero, but thought he might cost too much. Paco wanted to have Susan Doyle but that was vetoed because she was too hairy. Matt wanted to have Ronny Rebeiro but he too was vetoed on the grounds that he would eat too much. Someone did have the temerity to mention that the identity of the MG ought to remain perhaps a mystery until the Christmas Ramble but nobody had thought of that.
Anyway we ended up wandering through respectable Eastbourne (no hoodies here) looking for a bus home. There weren’t any chip shops here -too common, you see -so Sandyballs had to wait until Seaford to sate his jaded appetite.
As Matt said, Froggy had taken us to the edge of Paradise with this ramble, and he had! Maybe we could have half an hour’s silence next time (especially if Baby Flintoff is MG and goes to sleep on Sandyballs’ lap). Next ramble is the Christmas one; Lf and SB are sussing it out around the pubs already.
See you all.
Lafayette.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
November Ramble on the 11th
This went off very well according to Froggy who has taken a few photographs which I will attach soon.
Regards BT
Regards BT
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Change of Moderator
As I'm so busy in France at the moment and I cannot be back in the UK until December I have relinquished the overall command of the "Blog" to Froggy, to see how he gets on. Await developments!!
Sunday, November 01, 2009
NERDS’ Ramble 239 - 28th Oct. 2009.
Those Present - B.T. Froggy, Bronco, Sandyballs, Matt, Lafayette (& Others)
The Freddie Ramble.
Today Sandyballs couldn’t do the ramble because he had bollocksed up his foot in York. (Something to do with lots of drinking at an ISU Union meeting and being pushed off a pavement by Sean Raggett). And so, in a panic, he had not only thrust the heavy burden of organising the ramble on to Froggy, but had telephoned Interpol in the Pyrenees to have B.T. torn away from his home comforts and despatched to Newhaven to make up the numbers.
Bronco too was with us this day so Froggy decided it might not be a good idea to go up and down the fifty odd hills in Sussex like we usually do for a bit of fun, but to keep it short, keep it sweet and make sure we got to the pub well in time for lunch.
B.T. started to be awkward claiming that he had obtained his presently svelte figure from a daily dose of sprinting up and down the Pyrenee at the bottom of his garden and hadn’t come all this way just to pussyfoot around. So Froggy ignored him and ordered everyone on to the bus from Seaford to East Dean.
Some of us had to pay for this privilege (ha, ha) while the other (bus pass holders) claimed their free Human Rights and rushed upstairs to bag the best seats. When we arrived Froggy saw a couple of girlie ramblers get off the bus at the same time clearly intent on following the NERDS and basking in their fame and sexual attraction. Sadly, Froggy’s poor attempt to capitalise on this groupie opportunity came to nought when they heard him say loudly that he fancied shagging the good looking one but wouldn’t touch her mate with his own worn out bog-brush.
The weather was dull, the sheep had shat all over the fields and there we were tramping after a couple of miffed women who were not only following our route but looked as if they were going to have lunch at the same pub as us. Quel embarras! However Matt livened up the proceedings by letting slip that the Mystery Guest on the Christmas Ramble this year was going to be …..none other than Jordan …Wow!
Visions of this fantastic guest at dinner with everyone hanging off her…..every word
Made us all cheerful again. Then Bronco punctured the balloon(s) by saying he’d heard it was only Ian Jordan and that was only if he could tear himself away from the other numerous office parties he seemed to be heavily involved in.
Within sight of Belle Toute Lighthouse the NERDS descended a Seven Sister and saw to their dismay that The Birling Gap ie. the pub lunch rendezvous, was besieged by large numbers of caravans, cameras, gophers, and film stars themselves threatening to try to eclipse the NERDS by making a film where we were going to be eating (and drinking). When we got to the pub someone said that these NERDS’ hangers on were supposedly filming a remake of Brighton Rock so Matt suggested we all do our own film in opposition using ourselves , all the barmaids in the pub , the pub dog and some special posing pouches he just happened to have with him. His offer was declined.
Apparently all these famous acting types, the ones in this stupid film outside, had brought all their own scoff, all their own posing pouches, all their own catamites and even all their own lavatory paper with them in order not to have to mix with the local hoi polloi and the world famous NERDS. The Birling Gap, however had made an absolute fortune by renting out its pub car park to them for the duration so at least they would have a good view of the world famous NERDS dining in all their charisma.
The food was very good here and so was the drink - all NERDS approved - and Lafayette tried out his fluent Hungarian on the petite barmaid, called Melinda before telephoning Sandyballs at home to update him on all the exciting developments at the pub. (I mean about all the great food and drink he was missing because he was rolling aroung groaning about some ingrown toenail or something - not about the poncy film crew type people who were falling over themselves to offer us key parts in their crummy film). Sandyballs murmured something vague about coming along with all the family, and that it was not in contravention of NERDS’ Rules because they hadn’t actually rambled with us and they had paid their NERDS’ subscription and they couldn’t leave the baby at home anyway, could they? ……….. Baby, wot baby?
And so Sandyballs eventually turned up with Mrs Sandyballs, daughter Sandyballs and Baby Freddie ( now known by his NERDS’ name as Flintoff). Flintoff was very cutchy coo and very well behaved, he drank his Harveys like a good boy and said that his mom had liked being Mystery Guest last year but didn’t fancy being on the same table as that slut Jordan this year. He said that his grandma was very beautiful and that he loved her very much as long as she was going to leave him all her diamonds and things. He said also that his grandpa was a big nesh pillock who kept falling off his bike and getting his gouty feet stamped on because he drank too much, then he smiled,
said he liked Lafayette best of all the NERDS and went to sleep. We were all entranced at our new mini NERD.
After the Sandyballs family had taken Baby Flintoff back home we set off back along the road to find out why The Tiger at East Dean was closed to the NERDS that day. On the way we were passed by Hungarian barmaids - big and small, and took lots of rests so that Froggy as Routemaster wouldn’t get lost (or tired). Matt led us to The Tiger and found out it was reopening the next day (Just our luck!) Then we all got on the free (oops) bus back to Seaford and Newhaven.
It had been a very pleasant ramble thanks to the excellent guidance of Froggy and to the surprise appearance of Baby Flintoff who may take over as Managing Director of the NERDS one day. Let’s hope Sandyballs’ feet sort themselves out soon and that B.T. gets back safely to his Pyrenee in France.
Goo goo to all.
Lafayette.
Those Present - B.T. Froggy, Bronco, Sandyballs, Matt, Lafayette (& Others)
The Freddie Ramble.
Today Sandyballs couldn’t do the ramble because he had bollocksed up his foot in York. (Something to do with lots of drinking at an ISU Union meeting and being pushed off a pavement by Sean Raggett). And so, in a panic, he had not only thrust the heavy burden of organising the ramble on to Froggy, but had telephoned Interpol in the Pyrenees to have B.T. torn away from his home comforts and despatched to Newhaven to make up the numbers.
Bronco too was with us this day so Froggy decided it might not be a good idea to go up and down the fifty odd hills in Sussex like we usually do for a bit of fun, but to keep it short, keep it sweet and make sure we got to the pub well in time for lunch.
B.T. started to be awkward claiming that he had obtained his presently svelte figure from a daily dose of sprinting up and down the Pyrenee at the bottom of his garden and hadn’t come all this way just to pussyfoot around. So Froggy ignored him and ordered everyone on to the bus from Seaford to East Dean.
Some of us had to pay for this privilege (ha, ha) while the other (bus pass holders) claimed their free Human Rights and rushed upstairs to bag the best seats. When we arrived Froggy saw a couple of girlie ramblers get off the bus at the same time clearly intent on following the NERDS and basking in their fame and sexual attraction. Sadly, Froggy’s poor attempt to capitalise on this groupie opportunity came to nought when they heard him say loudly that he fancied shagging the good looking one but wouldn’t touch her mate with his own worn out bog-brush.
The weather was dull, the sheep had shat all over the fields and there we were tramping after a couple of miffed women who were not only following our route but looked as if they were going to have lunch at the same pub as us. Quel embarras! However Matt livened up the proceedings by letting slip that the Mystery Guest on the Christmas Ramble this year was going to be …..none other than Jordan …Wow!
Visions of this fantastic guest at dinner with everyone hanging off her…..every word
Made us all cheerful again. Then Bronco punctured the balloon(s) by saying he’d heard it was only Ian Jordan and that was only if he could tear himself away from the other numerous office parties he seemed to be heavily involved in.
Within sight of Belle Toute Lighthouse the NERDS descended a Seven Sister and saw to their dismay that The Birling Gap ie. the pub lunch rendezvous, was besieged by large numbers of caravans, cameras, gophers, and film stars themselves threatening to try to eclipse the NERDS by making a film where we were going to be eating (and drinking). When we got to the pub someone said that these NERDS’ hangers on were supposedly filming a remake of Brighton Rock so Matt suggested we all do our own film in opposition using ourselves , all the barmaids in the pub , the pub dog and some special posing pouches he just happened to have with him. His offer was declined.
Apparently all these famous acting types, the ones in this stupid film outside, had brought all their own scoff, all their own posing pouches, all their own catamites and even all their own lavatory paper with them in order not to have to mix with the local hoi polloi and the world famous NERDS. The Birling Gap, however had made an absolute fortune by renting out its pub car park to them for the duration so at least they would have a good view of the world famous NERDS dining in all their charisma.
The food was very good here and so was the drink - all NERDS approved - and Lafayette tried out his fluent Hungarian on the petite barmaid, called Melinda before telephoning Sandyballs at home to update him on all the exciting developments at the pub. (I mean about all the great food and drink he was missing because he was rolling aroung groaning about some ingrown toenail or something - not about the poncy film crew type people who were falling over themselves to offer us key parts in their crummy film). Sandyballs murmured something vague about coming along with all the family, and that it was not in contravention of NERDS’ Rules because they hadn’t actually rambled with us and they had paid their NERDS’ subscription and they couldn’t leave the baby at home anyway, could they? ……….. Baby, wot baby?
And so Sandyballs eventually turned up with Mrs Sandyballs, daughter Sandyballs and Baby Freddie ( now known by his NERDS’ name as Flintoff). Flintoff was very cutchy coo and very well behaved, he drank his Harveys like a good boy and said that his mom had liked being Mystery Guest last year but didn’t fancy being on the same table as that slut Jordan this year. He said that his grandma was very beautiful and that he loved her very much as long as she was going to leave him all her diamonds and things. He said also that his grandpa was a big nesh pillock who kept falling off his bike and getting his gouty feet stamped on because he drank too much, then he smiled,
said he liked Lafayette best of all the NERDS and went to sleep. We were all entranced at our new mini NERD.
After the Sandyballs family had taken Baby Flintoff back home we set off back along the road to find out why The Tiger at East Dean was closed to the NERDS that day. On the way we were passed by Hungarian barmaids - big and small, and took lots of rests so that Froggy as Routemaster wouldn’t get lost (or tired). Matt led us to The Tiger and found out it was reopening the next day (Just our luck!) Then we all got on the free (oops) bus back to Seaford and Newhaven.
It had been a very pleasant ramble thanks to the excellent guidance of Froggy and to the surprise appearance of Baby Flintoff who may take over as Managing Director of the NERDS one day. Let’s hope Sandyballs’ feet sort themselves out soon and that B.T. gets back safely to his Pyrenee in France.
Goo goo to all.
Lafayette.
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