NERDS' Ramble No. 302  Wed.  10/12/14.

Those Present – Sandyballs, Lafayette, Froggy, Paco, Curly, B.T. Bronco, Mystery Guest.

Christmas Ramble 2014 – “It seems alright to me.” (said in a scottish accent.)

Aye, the NERDS sure know how to party! They all met up at Lewes station

(apart from Mystery Guest and Bronco) and were told by Sandyballs that leg one of the “ramble” would end up at The Brewers – because it's the only pub in Lewes which opens at 10 o'clock. Not a bad idea, we thought, so wound our way round the quaint narrow streets of the town

and through the very pleasant environs of Southover Grange park

where Sandyballs used to take Flintoff  Ryan for his daily walks and where they both used to ogle the Lewes brand of Milfs who used to hang out there with their milflings.

In The Brewers the NERDS

tried the porter (a good breakfast drink) and met Julian, brother of Andy,

who had been a NERD sympathiser and Harveys drinker for many years. Julian said he would like to have accompanied us on our “ramble” that day but he was getting too old to walk and he liked to sit and drink the day away instead. (Sounds like the new brand of NERD in Nerds- Lite

as intiated by Matt (currently in Burma.)

Paco sat there vapour smoking

– a new departure, and showed Lafayette how to indulge in this questionable habit. It was a bit like breathing fog in and out, and Lafayette thought he might not actually take it up permanently. He and Sandyballs agreed to smoke a cigar on the latter's 70^th birthday, and extend this to indulging in whores and cocaine – if they'd managed to save up enough by then. B. T. put himself about a bit, got the drinks in and became Froggy's assistant Quazi for the day. He and Lafayette

had been trying out some new calvados the previous evening and were feeling just a teensy weensy bit jaded that day.

Tearing ourselves away from The Brewers we descended into Lewes and found Bronco in the middle of the shopping centre sans horse and looking lost.

So we gathered him up and dragged him along with the rest of the merry band along Cliffe High Street until we reached The Gardeners Arms. Bronco looked fine, he always looks fine; he said Crunchie (horse) was costing him a fortune in vet's bills because of his age, and we wondered how Crunchie would be able to pay the vet's bills for Bronco when he got really old.

The Gardeners was selling Harvey's Christmas Ale at 7.5% so it was quite strong stuff. Better only have a half. Nice it was, but B.T. thought it too sweet and passed it over to Lafayette to finish. Lafayette hadn't had much breakfast and started seeing stars, blamed it on the Paco fog but was dragged out of the pub by Sandyballs who wanted to go to The Snowdrop to ensure the Mystery Guest was properly received for lunch.

So down to The Snowdrop. (Good job this wasn't a Temperance Ramble) where lurking in the shadows was the Mystery Guest, and surprise, surprise, it turned out to be Mrs Sandyballs (third time for her),

who had got bored with doing christmas shopping and had come along to keep S.B. in order. In due course the rest of the NERDS rolled up having finished their rations of Christmas Ale, and greeted the M.G. with little surprise.

The Snowdrop is justifiably famed for its cuisine as it has an excellent chef and interesting bar staff.

By this stage Lafayette could not remember what he had eaten or drunk and had to rely on the scrawled evidence of a couple of embark cards to refresh his memory. Most people seemed to be eating turkey;

Lafayette vaguely remembered he had had a delightful cheesy stuffed mushroom to start,

and that was preceded by mulled wine, so no wonder the world seemed to be getting even more delightful. Sandyballs had a vague recollection of himself and Lafayette visiting this pub in days of yore to drink Wray and Nephew's rum with coffee. Lafayette had got this habit from some Jamaican relative of his daughter but sadly the present bar man ( dark with a pony tail ) had never heard of it – too young, you see.

However, he said “We've got this calvados stuff intead, I don't know whether you'd like that.” Do popes shit on bears! Much calvados later everyone was swaying around and Sandyballs had fallen asleep on  M.G.'s shoulder.

Much fun was had settling the bill as usual. Mystery Guest took charge as she was probably the most sensible and least drunk by this stage. However it's always a great challenge to make the money add up correctly. Finally it was achieved with no-one decking anybody else and the M.G. Family wandered off to put S.B. to bed.

Los Otros stayed on for a bit just to finish off the calvados bottle, and then Paco had a marvellous idea.

Having spent a large amount of money on his younger daughter's expensive education and made sure she had a driving licence,

Paco rang her up and proposed she bring the family bus over to take all the remaining NERDS back home. Since Laura was a delightful, generous girl, she agreed and so arrived in due course to pour everyone into the car.

What a heroine she was; nobody could remember the journey home (except Laura, we hope), but The NERDS were all incredibly grateful they didn't have to walk anywhere at this stage.

The biggest thanks of the “ramble” undoubtedly go to her. Well done, Laura!

Well, what a christmas it had been for the NERDS. We thank Sandyballs for organising the meal and the M.G., and thanks go to our Special Guests, B.T and Bronco for turning up. It was nice to see you both again.

Lafayette will arrange something in the new year for the next one – we may even see some of the Gatwick Darkside again.

Merry Christmas to All.

Lafayette.