The November 2021 Ramble

Today's ramble started in Newhaven where Laf, Matt, and Sandyballs all met up with Froggy at the station. The latter had decided to walk all the way from his home to Newhaven, and arrived all sweaty and in a terrible strop

about something or other about which even he was not sure.

Laf took everyone to the Sidings,

the new, trendy Newhaven cafeteria and bistro which unfortunately turned out to be closed. Bummer! so we then rolled out Plan B and went to the Newhaven Coffee House

at the top of Newhaven High Street (which was open). Here we lounged around for a while watching Matt as he spilled tea all over the table.

Thereafter we did the rambling bit through NHN and towards the river in the direction

of Piddinghoe but not that far. The route meandered through some bushy, semi rural parts which were quite pleasant and mostly public free. The weather was mild and cloudy.

Shortly after we pitched up at one of Laf's favourite pubs of yesteryear, The Jolly Boatman.

This turned out to be ideal for everyone - there was no draught beer, we had to drink bottled stuff.

SB wanted Guinness but the Guinness was off,

and after a visit to the toilet there was no paper to wipe your hands. BUT in mitigation it was a very friendly pub and atmosphere goes a long way to creating a fun time.

Titch had rung Laf to say he was awaiting our pleasure down the road at The Ark

so we went that way in the hope that the Bish might treat us all. Not likely, but with time not being on our side we hurried off to the Luna Rossa

for lunch.

Rosario was pleased to see Laf

who spends a considerable amount of time , (and money!) in this place. The food and drink were excellent and the service was very good.

NERDS don't often go to restaurants because they're usually too classy for us but this one managed to put up with our engaging presence.

Afterwards we made a trip to The Ark for a pint of Harveys

and because it was on the way home for all of us. Froggy decided not to walk back this time but to get the bus, and Laf nonched back up the road to Lavender Lodge.

Next ramble is the Christmas one which may be to The Laughing Fish - we'll have to see......

Love to you All.

Lafayette.

November 10th Ramble Joining Instructions

Dear Fellow NERDS,

Next week's ramble will take place on Wednesday 10th November.

Meet at Newhaven Railway station at 10 30 hrs approx.

We shall be doing a brief tour of the delights of Newhaven and will be having lunch at the Luna Rossa restaurant by the marina.

Can you please let me know if you are coming so that I can make a booking at the restaurant.

See you on Wednesday.

Lafayette.

November's Ramble Expectations 2021

 November's Ramble will take place around the Town of Newhaven .

The routemaster will be Charles .

Further information to be arranged!

The Continuing Tales of the NERDS October 2021

Yesterday for the ramble we were four, a good number to get round a table. There was S.B. moi, Froggy and Paco. My muse had gone back to Denmark on a secret mission,

The Bish

had a cold

, Matt was off cruising

and Imogen couldn't come.

The weather was bright, sunny and warm so S.B. marched us off to The Depot for expensive coffees and where we wouldn't get too sunburned. We made a fine looking band
in our scruffy rambling gear

amongst all the Lewes Cognoscenti with their fine clothes and posh laptops all pretending they were not just DFL (Down from London)but also WFH (Working from home).

Then we began rambling through Lewes where we were held up on a pavement by a crocodile

of very polite school kids

going off somewhere to play footy. Lafayette stood aside to let them pass and they thanked him and called him "Sir" - very proper.

We did a bit of country walking

and got a bit disorientated in South Barn Farm where we bickered over the location of The True Path. Eventually we found it and went over the fields to the back of Kingston and thence into The Juggs.

As the sun was still shining we opted to eat outdoors (but under cover)

and started to lay into the Harveys.

Food was pretty good and coffee was augmented by the addition of clandestine brandy.

Lafayette had got a double hip flask given to him by his thoughtful daughter but S.B. provided the lunch brandy from the miniature he had nicked from a shop.

When it got cold Paco and Laf walked up Kingston High Street importuning hapless females by saying they were lost and enquiring about the time of the next bus. Since we established this was hours away we decided to walk back to Lewes instead. Half way along the road S.B. hailed a bus to Newhaven for Paco who was flagging.

Unfortunately Paco had forgotten his bus pass but the driver said he'd let him on as long as he promised not to drive his car back from Seaford station while under the influence. (Ha, ha!)

The other three managed to make it to The Swan where a discussion with The Black Barmaid about vinyl (wots that? )

ensued. Froggy promptly recited to her all the records he had ever owned and those of Curly Clarke too until she eventually expired of boredom.

Nothing much else happened in the pub; we were all too tired from the unaccustomed walking so we had a last pint then went home.

October's Ramble 2021 Joining Instructions

Hi,

This month’s expedition is on Wednesday 13th. Just for a change we are going to revisit a favourite old ramble!! This time in Lewes!! It seems some time since we called in at The Juggs Arms in Kingston. At least a year anyway. The forecast looks favourable……Autumn colours……mists of mellow fruitfulness……aching limbs and joints. Should be memorable.

So the ever faithful 10.25 from Seaford and I shall meet you at Lewes station. Maybe a coffee first at The Depot? I will book a table at The Juggs for about 12.30. Pitstops at The Kings Head or The Swan, or both, cannot be ruled out ……..

Harry

The NERDS. Ramble 8/9/21.

Those Present – Sandyballs (Harry),

Lafayette (Charlie), Froggy (Phil), Paco, Matt,

and Sasha.


The Glamorous Waitress Ramble.

It was a hot day; very, very hot. Probably the last hot day of Summer. The NERDS decided to celebrate by a) letting Froggy be Route Master and set the ramble and b) by going to The Steamworks in Seaford for a drink. The latter seemed to have become the cool (ha, ha) place for everyone to gather these days. Actually it was cool inside with a nice breeze to keep the old NERDS awake.

First Old NERD to turn up was Lafayette. His writing career had been in a bit of a decline since he had taken up bowling and hanging around school playgrounds instead. Well, you've got to get your writing inspiration from somewhere, haven't you?

Next along was Froggy, with a head full of bus and pub details and worried that all his carefully laid plans might go awry. Then was Sandyballs, glad to release (temporarily) the terrifying responsibility of entertaining the NERDS for a day.

Shortly after, and late as usual, rolled up Paco and his young ward, Sasha, who was spending some time under Paco's wing to finish her education. 

Sasha, had already been to most of the posh finishing schools in Europe – Rodean, The Lycee Parisien, and The Hellfire Club New York where she had learned the subtle arts of waitressing and how to strangle a man with one finger like James Bond does. Anyway she was with us during her last few days in the UK and specifically to upset the gender balance of The NERDS' Male Old Farts' Club.

Sooooo......the company all had a drink and then legged it for the bus stop to go to Birling Gap where Froggy would start his ramble.

It was nice and breezy on top of the hill just outside Eastbourne.

Froggy led us off in completely the opposite direction from that expected by Lafayette.

 But, what the hell... he was in charge that day. Have a bit of faith. Froggy dashed off ahead leaving Lafayette and Sasha to talk about Denmark ( where Sasha comes from). 

Lafayette wanted to know if all the people in Denmark were female, blonde and lived under bridges like on the telly. 

Sasha said that was all nonsense since some of them were actually brunette and got their looks from having mated with certain hairy trolls 

from Norway ( but not those in her family).

Lafayette was also interested in Sasha's plans for a future career and said he hoped she wasn't going to turn out like her father who had been found on a French beach raving drunk on one occasion, when he had been thrown in jail by the French police, and had had to be rescued by Paco and Lafayette from terrible disgrace and shame.

Sasha replied that she was not like this, she was a nice girl who wanted only to work for the Danish Secret Service 

in exotic places such as Istanbul, Bangkok and Bali while maintaining her cover as a cocktail waitress (albeit with special, deadly skills). Lafayette was impressed, although he did reflect that her father had seemed to have had all the necessary failings which might have led him into becoming a young NERD one day.

Anyway, back to the ramble. Froggy was getting further and further ahead 

so that eventually he disappeared altogether and was next seen emerging from a bush having managed to get himself all covered in prickles in some very sensitive places. No explanation was given; we thought he might have been lured away by fairies or trolls and then punished for telling them all about his amazing literary career and how many Booker prizes he had won.

However, Froggy did finally lead us down, down a steep, steep hill where everyone nearly broke their delicate ankles and arrived at the bottom still thankful to be alive and in one piece. Froggy led us to The Pilot, a pub where Matt was allegedly waiting for us in the garden. 

Since Matt had never met Sasha, it was decided to test her new career cover story and find out if she made a convincing cocktail waitress. Sasha went into a phone box, put on her skimpy dress and high heels then grabbed a menu and approached Matt. 

He had been feeling grumpy because The Pilot had seemed quite expensive and nobody was paying him any special attention. “Bonjour, Monsieur,” said Sasha (in Danish) “Would Monsieur like anything off the special menu today? We have lots of special dishes which are reserved only for the most handsome of our customers.” “ Get away from me, young woman” growled the grumpy Matt. “ In my day women waited until they were spoken to before daring to address their elders and betters, and why are you carrying a Beretta 9mm in your suspender belt?” “ That's just in case you get frisky with me,” said Sasha. “Fat chance of that,” said Matt. “All I want is a nice pudding that I can complain about and get for free.”

At this point Sasha revealed herself. (No, not like that, she told Matt she was vaguely related to Don Paco and wanted everyone to believe she was like Wonder Woman only better dressed. Matt admitted he had been totally taken in and had been so impressed he hoped she would become a full member of The NERDS and would come on all future rambles. Sasha said that sadly she had to slip out of England on Saturday as she had some secret work to do for her own country. And so the mystery was sort of solved and we all began to eat and drink.

The food and drink at The Pilot was rather good. Everyone had the

special pudding which was some sort of red cheesecake with icecream. If you ate enough it apparently made you very handsome or else made you sick. Lafayette finished off what the rest of the NERDS had left but failed to become anything like handsome although he did feel a bit sick. 

Shortly after this Matt had become so enamoured of Sasha and her exotic lifestyle that he decided he could not live without her, 

so he kidnapped her and took her back home with him, hoping that she would change him from his austere lifestyle of constantly hoovering his pristine home and watching dodgy television programmes. He wanted to stop counting all his money every night and spend it on his glamorous new project in the hope that she would serve him ever more special dishes and make him more youthful and handsome than ever. Well, there's one born every minute. Let's hope Sasha can escape to the exotic East before it's too late. 

Next thrilling episode to be written when Sasha returns from her travels abroad.

By the way the rest of the ramble was a bit boring in comparison to what had gone before. Sandyballs, Froggy, Paco and Lafayette went for a long walk along Eastbourne seafront and popped into The Stage Door for a last drink.

Many thanks to Froggy for the last drink and for quite an interesting ramble.

Many thanks also to Wonder Woman for reviving Lafayette's literary skills, but don't expect a write-up after every ramble now; it's only cos this was a special ramble that you got one.

Bye now,

Lafayette.

September's Ramble 2021 - Froggy's Guide

Fellow Nerds


As Jim Morrison once famously said at the next gig following his arrest for indecent exposure "Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight you are in for a special treat" 

The crowd went wild in anticipation of another rampant exhibition, whereupon he countered "Oh no, not that, you only get that treatment at full moons" and keyboard player Ray Manzarek then proceeded to sing the lead in "Build me a Woman". Well, your very own special treat is to have me! as your route master and, as agreed with Harry, we are set to follow an old favourite walk from the A259 bus stop at Eastbourne Downs Golf Club 

along the South Downs Way and down into the St Bedes area of Eastbourne. I fondly refer to this ramble as that catchy little Joan Armatrading song "Drop the Pilot" and we may well be doing just that, as their menu is somewhat limited and pricey, though a pit stop cannot be ruled out. The Ship, just a short stroll further on, has a bigger and more varied menu plus more space. But then, after all, we are Los Nierdos para siempre et tous ce qui s'ensuit!

Harry's train will be getting in at 10:20 hours so I propose that we assemble in Steamworks at some point before/between then and 10:00 hours. We'll have about another 30-35 minutes to remain there before our targeted 12X gets to the library @ 11:06. We begin our walk @ 11:30 after a 20 minute bus ride and should arrive at the first pub sometime between 12:15 - 30 in time to get a good seat! After lunch, we'll be strolling back along the prom with an ice cream stop for Matt and then some further afternoon libations to Bacchus,

 probably in the Stage Door (once called the Buccaneer). The back of the pub overlooks the famous Devonshire Park tennis court, so we could just sit snugly there and mull over more than just our strokes?

Hope to see many of you next Wednesday 8th @ 10:00 - 10:20 in Steamworks.

Froggy Xxx + extra big kiss to Malcy Baby with absolute delight!!!

September 2021 Expectations

Apparently there is a NERDS ramble next week on the 8th Sept. Nobody knows where yet and we don't know if Harry's doing another zoom since apparently he forgot about the last one - and he was supposed to be organising it!

Love to all including the cats. 

Charles.

August 18th 2021 Ramble notes

Yesterday's (18/8/2021) ramble started off badly. Paco's grand daughter had been afflicted by the current plague and Paco had to stay at home holding her hand while she languished in bed. Poor girl, Lucky Paco!


Froggy and Laf only, met Sandyballs at Lewes. They were given a stark choice - walk all the way to Ringmer or piss about in drinking establishments and get the bus. The rest was history..........


First stop was The Trading Post in Cliffe High Street,

an overpriced coffee house full of stupid Lefty concoctions and yummie mummies. The NERDS sat around and plotted revolution like Tom Paine, but weren't sure which Establishment they were plotting against.

Needing a better drink they went across the road to The Gardeners where the barmaid was pretty and the cider was strong (6.5%). Then we strolled for the bus and met The Bish outside Waitrose. He had come by bus because he was now a Revolutionary like the other three.

In no time we were in the back garden of The Anchor at Ringmer,

there was a riotous wake going on inside with all the tables booked. Bronco was dragged out from the bar where he had been pretending to be dead so as to get free drinks. He looked well and was pleased to see us all.

He was obviously treated as a Local Hero in The Anchor since all the barmaids came up and rubbed their tits in his ears and gave him special attention. It's amazing what a few dirty jokes and a lot of money can achieve.

The meal was substantial and the beer was good.

We eventually said farewell to Bronco and his posse of horsey girls

and got the bus back to Lewes. Sandyballs took us into The Royal Oak opposite the Vegan Paint Shop and Lafayette continued drinking cafe cognacs while the other two drank Harveys. Plu ca change and all that....

Anyway then we went home satisfied that Bronco was still alive and in excellent form. Wonder if Paco's got the Plague yet?

Lafayette.

An enjoyable ‘ramble’ today - although not too much shoe leather was used! God to see Bronco again and I think we all enjoyed the meal, the location and Malcolm’s favourite waitresses! 

I now realise that this latter remark is potentially a sexist remark and therefore a thought-crime.

Apologies to anybody whose mental health has been adversely affected.

Anyway, as discussed, the next Ramble is on Wednesday 8th. I think Froggy may be the guest Route-Master. God help us all!

Don’t forget the Zoom meeting on Friday 20th August at 12 noon.

Harry