September's Write-up 2016

NEWHAVEN RAMBLING & DRINKING SOCIETY



Ramble No 322 Wednesday 14th September



“ The Return of the NOBS Ramble”



NERDS Present: Curly, Matt, Froggy, Paco The Bish, Sandyballs

NOBS Present: Lafayette



First, a word of explanation. Since its inception in the middle of the 18th Century, the NERDS has spawned a number of spin-off organisations. Most of these were either still-born or withered away and died shortly after birth. I could mention NIGS, NAGS, NIGERIA, SCOFFERS, STROLLERS, CLUB CORONA, etc. In passing it would only be fair to mention 2 organisations which still, apparently, exist but which are a pale imitation of the magnificent NERDS. I refer to CORDS and The DARK SIDE.

Anyway, one of these short-lived sub-organisations, which also crashed and burned was the NOBS. Which stood for NERDS ON BIKES. As it says on the tin this involved various NERDS wobbling about the countryside on their bicycles visiting various hostelries. As your Scribe can testify, imbibing alcohol and riding bikes is not always a good idea………

The plan was for the NERDS to walk to Rodmell from the north, whilst Lafayette would join us, by bike, from the south. Part of Laf’s unusual health syndrome was that he couldn’t walk but he could cycle. So he would be the only representative of the NOBS amidst a group of NERDS.

Anyway, back to the plot. NERDS gathered at Lewes station (despite the best efforts of Southern Rail to frustrate us)

. It was a beautiful warm day and the sun was shining brightly. We are not used to this in September. .Because of the slightly early arrival of the train/bus we thought there was plenty of time to have a pit-stop pint at The Brewers.

After all, your Routemaster/ Scribe reasoned, the lunch-time pub The Abergavenny Arms at Rodmell didn’t open until 12 noon and it wasn’t very far to Rodmell, was it?

Predicitably, the pint turned into a pint and a half

(two pints from some thirsty types) so it was a little after 11 am before we emerged from The Brewers and rolled down Keere Street

to begin the ramble. We walked through the leafy banlieue of Southover under the A27 by-pass and into the real countryside.

SB had a vague idea that the path led down to the river Ouse which we would follow until we reached Southover and then Rodmell. It ddn’t quite work out that way……….As usual, he hadn’t done any recce for this ramble – after all Lewes is my town. What could possibly go wrong?

The sun was beating down from a cloudless sky.

NERDS were getting hot and bothered. The path meandered on somewhere between the river and the C7 but we weren’t exactly sure where we were. The heat was increasing, it felt like we were in some African savannah.

The foaming pints seemed a long way off.

Laf kept phoning up asking where the f…….we were. Of course we had no idea. Laf said he would have another pint and carry on sunbathing.

Our path led through fields, over stiles, through cow-pats and stinging nettles.

Eventually we believed we had reached Rodmell but it was only Northease and we emerged onto the C7. There followed an enjoyable mile long walk along the pavement-free main road, dodging the incoming traffic. So at last the fair hamlet of Rodmell came into view. We found Laf lying on his back in the garden under the table, giggling uncontrollably surrounded by empty beer flagons. Yes, our walk had taken a bit longer than we thought!

NERDS set to doing what they do best – sinking pints and ordering pub grub.

There was a substantial delay in the wait for food so we sat in the sun and drank. The food, when it arrived was judged to be good.

So NERDS approved for The Abergavenny Arms then.

Conversation turned to the date of the next ramble. Because of holidays and other commitments we finally decided on MONDAY October 31st. Yes, Halloween night! The first time for The NERDS. Plenty of scope for dressing-up there. Trick or Treat, etc. Froggy had been clamouring to route master another ramble so it was decided, God help us, to allow him another chance.

He will have to be aware of the complication of Laf’s condition,so maybe the walk will have to be centred around some location that Laf can get to by bike, bus or train. Or his situation may well ameliorate. Froggy over to you!

The ramble broke up in some confusion. Laf wobbled off on his velo, Mrs Sandyballs drove to the pub to collect SB to fulfil onerous domestic tasks and the others went off in search of a bus.

All in all, an enjoyable, sunny, sociable time.. The Scribe can congratulate the Routemaster on an excellent ramble!!

I am off to recruit and organise a new branch of The NERDS in NYC!



Sandyballs

September's Ramble

The reluctant scribe is showing just how reluctant he really is!  Meanwhile, however, here is one of Froggy;s photographs to keep everyone in the picture!

August 2016 Ramble - at last

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The August 2016 Ramble

Although Sandyballs describes himself as a reluctant scribe we have yet to see anything from him in respect of the pearls of wisdom he so wilfully declares he has written.  Not a jot nor a tittle have we yet received.  However, here is a photograph from Foggy to remind us all of the event.

 Perhaps this will stir up the loins of our reluctant scribe!

Joining Instructions for 14th September 2016

Charlie,

Please send this to the rest of the NERDS:


Dear All,

This month we walk on Wednesday 14th. Laf is still crook so cannot ramble. However he can cycle so will hopefully join us for lunch.

So.......I would invite the Seaford contingent to take the RAIL REPLACEMENT BUS from Seaford at about 09.55 and alight at Lewes Railway station where I will join you. Incidentally, I am informed that this bus service runs on a regular basis, so do not be afraid! I am not sure exactly what time the bus reaches Lewes but I will wait for you.

From there we will walk along the Ouse and meet Laf at The Abergavenny Arms at Rodmell. Apres lunch the Seaford lot can walk along to the junction with Southease village and catch the replacement bus home. Don't worry, it will all work.

Sandyballs ( Route master and reluctant Scribe of the ever flexible NERDS).

August 2016 Joining Instructions Extra

Chers NERDS,

Message from Sandyballs whose IT is still up the spout:

We need to get the onward bus from Churchill Square promptly after our arrival at Starbucks. This means no titting about in the queue looking at foreign students and probably no time for coffee.

We must get off quickly once we all meet. No slacking!

See you all on the bus.



Lafayette.

August Ramble 2016 Joining Instructions

Dear NERDS,

Here are Sandyballs' joining instructions for next Friday 26th. Nota bene the name of the cafe to meet in. This means you, Froggy!

Lafayette.

P.S.I'm off next week to Jamaica to coach Usain Bolt in the art of how to loaf in retirement.

As you- although know we ramble this Friday on August 26th. Problem is I am having trouble with my Hotmail account. Since it changed itself to 'Outlook' and then changed the design of the website I can't do a thing with it - although it is allowing me (I hope!) to send individual recipients like yourself! Could you please send the joining instructions to the other NERDS?

Basically we are going to meet in Starbucks in Churchill Square at about 10.30 and then proceed by bus to another undisclosed destination. I have to think of one first!

Thanks. Hope you find the time amidst all the Olympic telly-bashing.

See you on Friday if not before.

The August 2016 Ramble date

So Lafayette has published the date of the next ramble as 26th August 2016. Is this to celebrate his ancestor’s introduction of the Déclaration des droits de l'homme et du citoyen. This declaration was of course introduced by General Lafayette

and signed on 26/8/1789

July's Second Ramble

NERDS' Ramble No. 320 - 27th July 2016.

Those Present – Froggy, Lafayette, Sandyballs, Curly Clarke, Paco, The Bish, The Captain.

Guests – Imogen, El Perro Negro Bandido.

Froggy's Summer Ramble.

Froggy had worked out a fantastic rural ramble going round the famous Berwick reservoir, having a pint chez Pete at the Yew Tree

and then proceeding over the fields to The Plough at Chalvington(?). Anyway these plans all came to nought because of crappy weather and Southern Rail depriving us of most of our trains. We had done the original Froggy ramble before and it was a good one, but it needed to be done on a nice sunny day and with a decent chance of getting to the starting line. No such luck that day.

And so Froggy had invented a ramble over the Downs towards Seaford from Newhaven, on a route we'd all never been on before, and so the NERDS were in a state of high excitement. But first we all had to meet. This was a bit complicated. Rendez-vous was in The Newhaven Coffee House.

Where the fuck this was even Lafayette didn't know until his wife pointed out it was at the top of the High Street next to the paper shop. Wow! You live and learn. Lafayette usually made his own coffee at home and was too mean to buy all that la-de-da shop stuff. Anyway, it would be an easy place for the Seaford contingent to get to ( lotsa buses available) but Sandballs had to get in from Lewes by some crappy little pensioners' bus which only ran about once every two weeks or so.

Suffice to say, meeting up all together at the same place at more or less the same time was completely chaotic.

People drifted in bit by bit, search parties had to be sent out for Sandyballs and the Bish, the Captain turned up by himself, and Lafayette got a phone call at home from Curly saying he ought to get his arse out of bed because today was ramble day. Woops! Better get down the coffee shop.

After a false start because Lafayette had forgotten his hat and the Brexit whip, everyone was more or less together.

The weather was drizzly and dull. First port of call was to head towards The Flying Fish for an early lunch. This involved some serious manoeuvring through Sainsbury's car park which was fairly dangerous and where Matt kept running around being pursued by mad drivers who he was convinced were all after his family jewels. We got into the Fish,

and as usual found it deserted apart from the barman. It's never really recovered from the glory days of being run by the Welsh woman with big tits and her husband, the French chef. First off we were told there was no Harvey's that day; he had a barrel but he wasn't opening it early just for us. Hmm....

So we drank some sort of Shepherd Neame and sat ourselves all round a table

at the back next to the kitchen. The Bish stripped off to reveal a teeshirt in dayglo green which made him stand out like a luminous Ninja Turtle. He confessed to having bought a pack of three of these while abroad on holiday. They were puke green, vile orange and white. We asked him why he hadn't just worn the white one to avoid offending our eyes. “ I can't tell the difference between them since I'm colour blind,” said the Bish. “ Actually, I only bought them because they were cheap, but they frighten away the seagulls

when I'm sunbathing in the back garden.”

The meal was OK; most people had pie and chips or fish and chips. The only snag here was lack of staff.

If you were getting your dinner you couldn't get another drink, and vice versa. The barman/waiter/frontman was doing all the work himself; he coped reasonably well and was adequately polite, but he needed a Polish barmaid as back-up and as a bit of glamorous furniture.

Suddenly outside there was a kerfuffle and Paco appeared (late) and said he'd had to feed Perro Negro Bandido and Imogen, his mom, before coming out.

Paco joined us for lunch; Imogen sat outside with Bandido who was so big, black and terrifying that he wasn't allowed inside. Lafayette went outside and suggested that Imogen got herself a job as a Polish barmaid to speed things up in the pub. “ No time,” she replied. “I've got to keep this ravening monster in check.” Lafayette thought this was rather a strange way to talk about Paco since he usually just drifted through life and wasn't particularly dangerous to anyone.

After lunch Froggy took us through Denton, then up a mega steep path to the top of the houses, then over the Downs towards where Bronco used to keep his horse Crunchy. It was a path not most of us had followed before, certainly Lafayette who lived only about a mile away had never explored this strange way. Matt was busy talking about how he had recently inspected Tubby's equipment and had not been impressed (what do they both get up to together?) The Captain hastened to clarify that Matt was only referring to his collection of VHS tapes (yeah, yeah) but Matt was so engrossed in his subject that he managed to fall down a hole and injure himself (slightly).

At this point we had arrived at Bishopstone, and Froggy laid before us the decisions we would have to make about what we could do next. Imogen took Bandido home so that he could savage some more sheep and gobble up a child or two

, and The Captain went back home to polish his equipment. The rest of us got on a bus into Seaford and ended up in The Old Boot where Sandyballs pronounced the Hammerpot beer to be crap (serves him right, he should have stuck to Harveys) and where Froggy gave us a lecture on British Heritage and where he was next going walking with Curly. Matt demanded that he produce lots of pictures especially of disordered bed sheets, but Froggy said he and Curly were sleeping in separate hammocks

so he couldn't oblige.

And so after a few more drinks the ramble ended. Despite the poor staffing arrangements we had had a good lunch and Froggy had taken us on ways and bye-ways we had never been before. An original ramble route is quite something these days; after nearly thirty years we've nearly worn East Sussex out. So thanks to Froggy and thanks to all our other guests. (bow, wow.) Next ramble Friday 26th August in Brighton.
Love.

Lafayette.

2nd July Ramble Ammendments

Hi guys

I've been getting a lot of very bad and negative feedback about these bloody Southern trains

so I propose that we shelve the walk from Berwick to Upper Dicker until more favourable times.

Instead I have a bijou favourite local ramble but it would no fun for Harry to get hereabouts from Lewes except on the 11:05 123 Compass bus from Lewes Bus Station, arriving in Newhaven Lower Place at 11:36 (with the last return 123 to Lewes from Sainsburys @ 17:39 or Newhaven Town Station @ 17:41 or Newhaven Lower Place @ 17:44, and arriving at Lewes Bus Station at 18:16). See how quickly I'm becoming a boring old bus anorak?

All I can then suggest is that we all meet up with Harry at the Newhaven bus stop at 11:36, go for an early lunch at the Flying Fish, then take an afternoon hike back towards Bishopstone/Seaford up and along the Downs (Rookery Way) and back to Bishopstone Station area so that Harry (and Charles, if he so desires) could jump on a 12 and get back to the preferred bus stop in good time for the last 123 Compass bus. The option for the remaining Seafordites would be to walk along the seafront or catch their own no 12.

I shall leave it up to each individual as to how you'll get to Newhaven Lower Place. Personally I think a no 12 @ 10:30 and a coffee in Newhaven Centre might go down a treat? Sorry I still don't have a mobile Charles but I'm sure someone else will!

Frog One

This change of ramble comes with grateful thanks to Tony, Imogene and Matt!

Brian! Are you getting all this!

Oh Yes, Froggy; I'm getting all of this for the "Blog".

Re July's Ramble - Matt's Reply

Phil , thanks for mail . I do not want to be a harbinger of doom ,

but just to let you know , I used the train system last Wednesday , and experienced a total nightmare, crowds ,

delays ,aggro and lack of air .....etc . You have quoted various train connections for Wednesday , I don't think
They will exist , and could be a disaster .i would also like to do this walk , but wonder is it the best time to do it .
For consideration .
Matt

July's Second Ramble Joining Information

OK guys, this one's really tough. I've checked all possibilities and 1/ I'd still like to do the walk from Berwick station to the Plough via the Yew Tree; 2/ those of us from Seaford, Bishopstone and Newhaven will have no choice but to climb on board a bus as there are no suitably timed trains.

The bus leaves Seaford station at 09:30. Unfortunately I can't find the expected arrival times at Bishopstone or Newhaven Town, but the bus is due to arrive at Lewes station at 09:58 and the one and only suitable train to Berwick (without first going to Polegate and back) is still the 10:09 from platform 3, arriving at Berwick at 10:20 hrs.

Harry? Can you please meet us on platform 3 as there won't be any time to go to the Runaway?

The journey back from Berwick station is even harder, with just about every train being replaced by a bus. There is a train at 17:20 but that goes the other way to Polegate first. Eventual ETA in Seaford is an hour later at 18:20. There is just one train that ensures a stress-free journey and that is the 18:17 from Berwick, arriving in Lewes at 18:28 and which connects with the 18:38 to Seaford, arriving there at 18:55 hrs. As this is the height of summer, hopefully this later-than-normal finish shouldn't be too bothersome?

There is, of course a way round all this uninvited clag simply by driving to the Berwick Inn and watching the alcohol consumption!!! Ho ho ho

Let's hope it's a good turn out in spite of Southern Rail.

Froggy x

July's Second Ramble date

Fellow Nierdos,

Naturally, for those of you who don't know/remember, the date of the next ramble is Wednesday 27th July.

humble apologies, mumble, mumble, rambling, rambling

Frog x

July's Second Ramble Joining Instructions

Fellow Nerds, I am your chosen Route Master for this next ramble. The Southern Rail shenanigans have left us with a very narrow opportunity to get to Berwick Station and so it shall have to be the 09:25 from Seaford (Bishopstone 09:27 & Newhaven Town 09:32) arriving at Lewes at 09:44. The connecting train to Berwick will depart from platform 3 at 10:09. There will be time to meet Harry in the Runaway and perhaps down a chosen quickie if the queue is not too long. This would then allow a 40 minute bijou stroll to the Yew Tree (opens at 11:00, train arrives at 10:20) for a couple of refreshing pints in the garden, weather permitting. The idea is then to locate the Wealdway and plough on to its namesake at Upper Dicker, where there is a very nice garden for unruly kids, dogs and Nerds. The return train opportunities from Berwick Station are at quarter past the hour (eg 16:17 & 17:17 with an extra one at 17:46, if need be).

I am away soon, re-walking the 32 mile 1066 with Curly Michael, so any changes to timings etc. will have to wait until 3-4 days before the event.

Frog Master One x

July's First Ramble

NERDS' Ramble No. 319 – Fri. 1st July 2016.

Those Present – Matt, Froggy, Sandyballs, Lafayette, Paco.

The Brexit Ramble.

The People had spoken. The NERDS had been kicked out of the Commonwealth. No more cheap bananas, no more cheap wine or calvados, no more dirty french postcards, no more Polish barmaids. The future looked bleak. Better see if we can all get a different passport so that we can retire to Barbados in due course.

Paco was OK, he was entitled to a Spanish passport. B.T. was born in Dublin so he could claim to be Irish. Curly Clarke and Sandyballs Ryan had impeccable Irish ancestry, so did Matt who was the Irishest of us all. Even Froggy could aspire to a French document (the clue's in his name).That left Lafayette who was as boringly English as St George (who was in fact Turkish) and who would be left on these shores when the rest of the NERDS took flight. Lafayette's maternal grandmother may possibly have been Welsh, but a fat lot of good that would do him when everyone left. Besides which, it always rains in Wales and Lafayette didn't speak the language there.

Since the days of the NERDS were obviously numbered we'd better make the most of the time left and go somewhere nice to celebrate Froggy not having to pay on buses any more.

And so we first took the train to Lewes and then the bus to Isfield where The Laughing Fish beckoned. Sat on the bus and looking out of the window Matt remarked how he wished all rambles were like this ie. no walking, all done on public transport and a pub twenty minutes after starting.

The Laughing Fish was well up to standard with lots of different real ales and an enthusiastic landlord to boot.

The question of payment was divisive. No longer do we have one whip for all, like in the old days; no, now we have one for Laf and S.B.only – the breakaway or brexit whip. Sandyballs mooted that in these days of revolution we should invite B.T. To produce a breakaway/brexit blog but realised he might want to write his own versions of rambles that he had never actually personally attended. OMG! He might actually make up things that never happened – can't have that.

The NERDS settled themselves in a quiet corner

and then Paco dropped his bombshell. He stated that he wanted Perro Negro Bandido

to come on all future rambles and be accorded full NERDS status. Oh dear, such consternation. Nobody was happy; was this against the NERDS' Constitution? NERDS don't mind women and pooftahs (in moderation, of course) but bloody DOGS, oh no, no, no! Paco accused the NERDS of animal discrimination; everyone shifted uncomfortably. Lafayette said he quite liked cats but they were a bit difficult to bring on rambles. Curly said he'd got a pet newt that he'd trod on but it was getting better

, but dogs were tricky. Paco stropped out. “ I think it's disgusting that you lot want to ban Perro Negro Bandido just because he's a dog,” he ranted “ I shall seriously think of stomping off somewhere else and joining a drinking (whoops, I mean rambling) group that loves animals and lets you bring your pets on walks.” So a compromise was reached. Perro Negro Bandido could come on NERDS' rambles as a guest, but not as a full NERD. ( His mom, Imogen could come too). But definitely no cats, parrots, giraffes or warthogs. And especially no newts.

The ramble continued. The weather was dull and shitty. It was cold and most un-July like. We walked along the road through Isfield and came across some very odd characters hanging around the middle of the village. Lots of funny soldiers dressed in red

( Were we in the middle of a terrorist alert?) and a weird pink lady who seemed up for grabs by anyone. Paco in his new role of animal rights champion and chief feminist took it upon himself to try to seduce the pink lady in the middle of the village (see picture)

, but the other NERDS pulled him off her and promised he could have a go with their own pets back at home if he desisted from this awkward display of overt sexuality.

We crossed some fields and ran into a bunch of cows, calves and bulls. Froggy was wearing a Welsh shirt - like bright red it was, and was worried about being attacked for being an England supporter. However, Paco persuaded them not to attack us. (He can talk to the animals, see.) Then we found ourselves at the Anchor at Barkham next to the river where lunch beckoned.

Many years ago the Three Original NERDS had happened upon this pub when they had been in the habit of walking considerable distances.The problem was that they arrived there late in the afternoon after the pub had shut. However there was a very pleasant garden next to the river so these Early NERDS made themselves comfortable and someone had the bright idea of knocking on the pub door and politely asking if they would sell us a bottle of wine. This ploy had actually worked and everyone was content. Shortly after, a group of thirsty cyclists had rolled up and found themselves in the same situation as the NERDS, so they were told what we had done. Unfortunately the owner by this time had got fed up with importuning strangers outside of licensing hours, and had told the cyclists to fuck off as they were disturbing his siesta. But that was all long ago and landlords these days were desperate to lure people within to take their money from them.

The Anchor had raised its standards from yesteryear

and now provided good beer and pretty good, though fairly expensive food.

The NERDS

were conducted to the banqueting suite at the back where they could make more noise. Matt changed his seat so that he could hold court at the head of the table and relegated Froggy to the baby chair at the other end. It was Perro eat perro. Then Froggy arranged a Club Corona for the following week and Matt arranged a Club Aux Scoffers date for the week after that. Such exciting stuff! We now have all these Brexit style splinter groups carving out their independence from the Original NERDS. When do we get Corona and Scoffer teeshirts then? What about the Animal Rights aspect to all this? Can Lafayette bring his pet toad

along?

Fortunately it was time to move on so Sandyballs led out back into the great outdoors and along the pleasant river path back towards Lewes. Through field after field we tramped; the weather getting colder and even more dull. Finally we got to some bus stop where S.B. said this was an opportunity for Froggy to avoid paying his fare again - except there was no bus for a long, long time. Lafayette got fed up and went and bought himself an ice cream. Still no bus came. S.B.'s bus app on his phone didn't seem to be working; it was nearly the next day. Thankfully, about teatime the number 29 from Tonbridge rolled up, and thankfully wasn't full of schoolkids.

The Seaford contingent managed to get a bus back from Lewes so Froggy managed to avoid paying tons of money that day. It was to be a new era for him. A brexit from paying fares. His future looked bright.

So thanks to all who took part and what adventures we'd all had! Next ramble again in July, on the 27th.

That's all for now.

Lafayette.

July's Double Rambles

This month we have TWO rambles - on Friday 1st and then Wednesday 27th. This Friday's Ramble is not yet in tablets of stone as I only returned to a newly independent UK (Hooray!) late Friday from Tuscany. I am also in the late planning stage of my trip to Transylvania. Also I am having to do the odd shift at Gatwick - yes, I know, making a rod for my own back, etc.

I have a plan for the ramble which I have almost completed. So, if participating NERDS could catch the usual 09.55 train ( if it is not cancelled) from Seaford Central to Lewes, I will meet you outside Lewes station. One thing, this Ramble will almost certainly involve the use of your BUS PASS !

See you on the day.

Sandyballs